Back Again
by Suza1981
Summary: They were happy and friends untill Renee took Bella away leaving Edward behind. All Human. Canon pairings. Some Lemony fun. Rated M for Language and other things.
1. Changes

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**Disclaimer: I do ****not**** own anything Twilight.**

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**This is a story that has been playing in my head for some time now. **

**It has a little bit of angst and hurt in it. But most of all it's a story about long lost friendship and how you deal with that.**

**I do feel the need to warn those of you that are innocent, that there will be some drug use and some violence in this story as well as some lemony fun. **

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**With that said…. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

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~ ***~ Edward ~* ~**

Have you ever had the feeling that everything was about to change, change in ways you never thought imaginable.

The feeling that makes you sweat violently and shake as if you are having the worst trip of your life.

This was the second time in my life that I had those thoughts running through my mind. The first time was five years ago.

I closed my eyes shoving the palms of my hands against them in an attempt to push those thoughts back where they belong.

_Yeah, good fucking luck with that…_

Opening my eyes I scanned the room I was in.

Here I was at yet another party at Jaspers house, my best fucking friend besides my big brother Emmet.

Jasper is without a doubt the coolest most relax type of _motherfucker _that I know. We became instant friend when his family the Withlocks moved from Texas to Forks.

/////

I met Jasper at the age of ten.

His dad Peter was a doctor at their local Hospital and his mom Charlotte, was a stay at home mom. But she wasn't really happy down there and needed a change. So when Peter got offered a job at the Olympic Memorial Hospital in Port Angeles they packed their shit up and moved.

When they got there Charlotte didn't feel comfortable living in a bigger city, which is how they ended up living only six houses down the road from ours in good old Forks.

I was riding my bike and making my way towards the end of the road, after I had heard my parents talk about the new family that would be arriving shortly after breakfast.

So I was standing beside their mailbox when they arrived hoping that maybe they would have kids from around my age that I could be friends with. Imagine my disappointment when I saw a girl standing next to car.

"Daddy!" She yelled.

"That's enough out of you young lady" The tall man said with a firm voice, before opening the trunk of the car.

"And Bree Darlin" He grinned at her. "Tell your brother to get his butt out of the car."

She smirked at him nodding her head.

"Jasper you _Galoot_ get your skorny little butt out of the car and help daddy with the bags before he gets _agger-vated."_ She giggled towards her father. "What are you doing in there anyway?" She asked opening the door.

The boy got out of the car and looked up at me and smirked before he turned to his sister.

"Tend to your own rat-killin" He spat. "Before I beat you like a rented _mule"_ He finished leaving her stunned with her mouth hanging open, before walking over to me.

"Howdy! The names Jasper" He grinned at me.

I was as stunned as his sister but couldn't help the grin that was forming on my face when I looked at him.

"Edward Cullen" I said shaking his hand.

/////

We've been friends ever since.

And Emmet? Well like I said that's my big brother and he's what chicks would consider a "Big 'ol _Teddy Bear" _All fucking cute and cuddly. But in truth Emmet is one huge motherfucker. How the fuck he's related to me? Well, we are actually cousins.

My parents Carlisle and Esme Cullen, they adopted Emmet when he was just five years old.

Emmet's mom, who was Carlisle's sister Elizabeth, died when he was three years old, which lead him to live with Bryce Mcarty his dad.

Now there was one sick and twisted mother fucking cocksucker that really never gave a damn about Emmet or his Mom. Asshole only wanted the money and fame associated with the Cullen name.

So to say that I or the rest of the family didn't like Bryce was the biggest fucking understatement of the century. That man was the reason that Emmet went from being the fun and caring happy little carefree boy that loved everyone and everything around him, to being an angry at the world five year old that would kick your ass for no reason at all.

_Believe me I know_…

I took a deep breath feeling really thirsty all of a sudden. Looking down at my hand I saw that my bottle of Beer was empty.

Which brings us back at Jasper's party, where I had consumed almost an entire bottle of Jack after smoking up three bowls within the last two hours.

So here I was completely and utterly _fucked up_.

Drunk beyond believe and so fucking high, that if I were to put on a goddamn cape or some shit like that and climb onto the roof, I would probably be able to fly if I were to jump.

I shook my head briefly to clear my mind from the mental pictures that were forming there of me on the ground surrounded by blood and bones that were sticking out of my body.

I took a few deep breaths to calm the fuck down.

My head was spinning and my mouth was dry. I looked around and saw Emmet sitting on the far end of the couch with a leggy blond that I didn't recognize. Her hands were on his shoulders and his were all over the place while they were sucking off each others face.

"Fuck I'm thirsty." I said to no one in particular, when I felt a hand sneak its way op my leg. I didn't have to look up at the person to know to whom the hand belonged.

_Jessica Stanley_.

"Do you want me to get you a drink Eddie Baby?"

I looked at her and thought back to the three times that she had jerked me off.

_Even I had to admit that the Bitch had skills. _

I was fighting back the bile in my throat, because it was Jessica Stanley.

Even if she wasn't ugly or what ever and she had wanted to give me a blow job and she would have let me fuck her into oblivion. I just did not find her even remotely attractive to let her suck me off plus I had no idea where her fucking mouth had been and I sure as hell didn't want to know about any other shit that she had done with _Fork's Finest Fuckers. _

Not to mention fucking STD shit.

I glared at her shaking my head. "Bitch, you call me _Eddie baby _one more time and I'll fucking kick your whoring ass" She sobered up a little and I smirked still glaring at her "Now get your ass off of the couch and fetch me a fucking Beer like the good little _Bitch_ you are." I nodded my head towards the kitchen and when she stood up I slapped her ass _hard._

She yelped but went straight to the kitchen like I knew she would.

I threw my head back against the couch and stared at the ceiling for a couple of minutes trying to enjoy the alcohol and drug induced buzz while waiting for Jessica to return with my Beer. But the only thing my mind seemed to register was the spinning ceiling.

"Fuck!" I spat glancing around me one last time only to find Jasper looking at me trough heavy lidded eyes.

"I need to take a piss" I declared standing up.

"Yeah man go upstairs" I grinned at Jasper before turning on my heel.

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I was standing in front of the vanity mirror wiping my face with a towel after I had splashed some water on my face, when it hit me.

_Strawberry's and Lilac._

I dropped the towel I was holding and just stared at it as it hit the floor.

_No no NO! _

I quickly looked around in search of bottles of lotion, shampoo and body washes but came up empty.

I turned to my left and walked over to the shower, almost tripping over the towel that was on the floor.

"FUCK!" I yelled with sheer panic in my voice, as I grabbed the shower curtain with shaking hands and yanked it open.

"Where the fuck is it?" I searched franticly picking up every single bottle I could find and throwing it on the floor after scanning the labels.

I stood there panting like a fucking moron taking deep breaths, trying to calm the fuck down for what felt like hours.

When I finally calmed down enough I turned around and walked back to the vanity to pick up the towel that I had dropped earlier.

_Wait a fucking minute.._

I picked up the towel closed my eyes took a deep breath and exhaled before bringing it to my face.

_Come on you fucking pussy!_ I mentally scolded myself _Just smell the Goddamn towel!_

"Oh my Fucking God!" I breathed out.

Everything came flooding back in that instant.

Every feeling of hurt when _she _left.

Every feeling of pain.

Every feeling loneliness.

Every feeling of anger.

Every feeling of anger and betrayal towards Charlie because he couldn't make her stay.

And hatred towards Renee for taking _her_ away from me.

Because _she_ was my best friend and _she _knew me better that anyone else.

But most of all, because _she _was ripped from my life when I needed her the most.

My dear sweet _Bella…_

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**So..**

**There we have it.. **

**What do you think?**

**Review?**


	2. Going Back

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**Disclaimer: I do Not own anything Twilight.**

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**This chapter will give you a small look into Bella's life after she left five years ago. **

**And what happens when she returns to Forks?**

**Oh yeah, just so you know Jaspers Party was held one week before Bella came back to town.**

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**That's all for now..**

**Enjoy!**

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~*~ **Bella **~*~

"_Hi" I said to the boy that stood beside me with unruly bronze colored hair that was sticking out in every direction, making him look like he had stuck his hands and both feet inside a electrical socket._

_He turned his head and looked at me with a small shy smile without meeting my eyes._

"_Hi" He retorted._

"_I'm Bella, well actually its Isabella Swan. My name that is, but I'd like it if you would call me Bella… if you want" I explained giving him my best smile._

_He looked at me again but this time his eyes met mine._

_He opened his mouth but closed it again as we stood there just staring at each other._

_His eyes were the prettiest shade of green that I had ever seen before. I looked at him in wonder because he didn't have that shy smile anymore, now he had a glorious wide smile on his cute face._

"_Come on you dork! Moms looking for you" A boy stood before him and yanked him away._

_He was six feet away from me when he pulled away from the boy and ran back to me._

"_Bella" He said giving me a toothy grin._

"_I'm Edward, Edward Cullen and I will.. I mean I will call you Bella that is.. I promise" By this time the other boy was shouting at him so Edward turned around quickly running back to him._

"_BYE BELLA SWAN" He shouted giving me a wave before he disappeared around the corner._

"_Bye Edward Cullen" I whispered to myself._

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I woke up gasping for air because this was the first time in over a year that I had dreamed of _Him_

_Edward Cullen_

I sat up in my bed rubbing my eyes violently trying to push those memories back.

But found myself failing miserably because I swear I could still feel his strong arms around me when he held me close to him.

I could still smell him all around me.

And when I closed my eyes I could still see his beautiful piercing green eyes and the way he would look at me, as if he was able to see my soul.

I could still see the crooked grin that he would give me because he knew that it was my favorite.

Or the way he would run his hand trough his hair and tug at the ends when he was nervous.

Yeah, when I closed my eyes I could see Edward.

And I _missed _him.

Edward was my best friend and he knew me better that anyone else, Hell he even knew me better than I know myself.

It had been almost five years ago that I saw him for the last time.

Five years of loneliness

Five years of hurt

Five years of pain

Five years of anger and hatred

I was angry at Charlie for not fighting for me when Renee decided to take me with her.

I hated Renee hated her so much for ripping me away from the only true friend that I had ever had.

I hated it all.

A loud knock on my door brought me back to the present.

_Alice Brandon._

_***_

I met Alice the second week after I had arrived in Phoenix Arizona.

She lived next door with her mother Mary who was friends with Renee for the past two years.

The first week that I was in Phoenix I had refused to get out of my new room because I was angry.

I was so angry that I didn't even go downstairs to eat.

I didn't care that my stomach was starting to hurt because I didn't want to be there.

I wanted to go home

I wanted to be with my dad.

I wanted to be with my friends.

After a week Renee was getting desperate because I hadn't said a word to her or Phil for that matter.

So when Mary came by she brought her Daughter with her, and the next thing I knew Alice was sitting next to me on my bed telling me story's about her childhood growing up in Phoenix.

Every day for the next two months she would come into my room and sit with me and tell me her story's until one day she came over and sat next to, but didn't say anything.

She just sat there reveling the silence.

The next day she came over and remained silent.

This went on for about another week until I started to miss her story's.

So when she came over on a Monday afternoon and sat down next to me I couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't saying anything.

Because I wanted to hear her story's

I missed her voice.

So I asked her to tell me a story.

And she did.

We've been friends ever since.

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"B get up you're gonna be late!" She shouted.

"I know Brandon! I'm coming." I shouted back getting up and making my way to the bathroom to take quick shower.

Today was the day that everything would change. And I was nervous as fuck because today of all days I was going back to Forks.

And I was so happy that Alice decided to come with me.

I was going back to see Charlie my dad. And I was nervous because of it. I mean sure he's my dad, but the fact that I hadn't seen him in almost five years made me think that maybe he didn't want to see me.

I mean if he did he could have came to visit me over the years, he could have called me he could have done something.

But he never did.

I finished my shower wrapped a towel around my body and walked over to the chair in the corner of my room to pick up the clothes that I would wear today.

Alice had put an outfit on that chair the previous night, just before I started packing my clothes for the trip back.

I told her that I was really nervous about going back there and she held up a bottle of Jack. We drank and laughed she asked me about Forks and I gave her answers. We laughed some more and before I knew it I was drunk and ready to pass out.

I was almost done dressing myself when there was another knock on my door.

"B, can I come in?" she asked opening the door and peeking inside.

"Yeah sure Brandon I was just putting my shoes on" she looked at me shaking her head.

"Only you would put on those pair of busted up raggedy old doc Martens on your feet without even blinking." I smiled at her.

"Oh come on Brandon, their comfortable" I explained making my way towards the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

After we finished our coffee we grabbed our bags and made our way downstairs towards her car.

After parking her car at the long-term parking we made our way to the airport and left our bags at the check in.

We still had twenty minutes till boarding and had taken a seat at the airport restaurant and were drinking coffee. As I took small sips of my coffee I was feeling antsy and my leg was shaking nervously.

"Are you ready to go B?" I looked up at her as she gave me a small smile.

"Yeah.. We should make our way to the gate"

We stood up and thirty minutes later we were sitting in our seats on the plane.

I closed my eyes taking a few large breaths to calm myself only to find myself thinking of Edward once again. Quickly I grabbed Alice's hand and gave it a small squeeze.

She turned her head to me and gave me a small smile.

"It's ok B I'm here" I closed my eyes again. "Just relax a bit and try to sleep for a while, I'll wake you up when we get there" She assured me as the captain greeted.

I don't know how long I had slept but when I opened my eyes heard the stewardess announce that we had to put our seatbelts on and to turn off the overhead lights.

I rubbed my eyes a little before I asked Alice how long I had been sleeping and why she didn't wake me up.

"I guess you slept all the way to…" She scrunched her nose "As the Captain informed us to be the William R Fairchild International Airport. And the reason why I didn't wake you up was because you woke up before I could." She informed me raising her eyebrows.

I let out a loud laugh because Alice was… well she was Alice.

And because I was still if not more nervous now that we had arrived at Port Angeles than I was before.

We unbuckled our seatbelts and exited the plain. When we went to retrieve our bags Alice informed me that I should wait for the them while she went to take care of the rental car.

An hour and a half later I was having a near panic attack when we arrived at Charlie's house and Alice had parked the car across the street. As I glanced towards the house I noticed that the cruiser was nowhere to be found.

"Maybe we should have called from the airport to let him know when we would get here."

I sighed taking my phone out of my bag and dialling Charlie's number. It rang three times before he picked up.

"Hello?" His voice sounded warm and familiar.

"Yeah Char- I mean yeah _Dad_ its me" My voice was shaky not knowing if he would recognize it because we had only emailed one another about my visit.

He was silent for a few seconds before I heard him exhale.

"Bella is that.. Is that y-you?" His voice a mere whisper as I heard him hold his breath.

"Yeah dad its me uh were at the house but umm you're not" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I glanced over at Alice only to find her fidgeting with her blackberry.

"Oh I'm sorry I'll uhh I'll be right there Bella, just wait for me and I'll be there in fifteen minutes"

"Ok dad we'll wait"

When I hung up I looked at Alice only to find her looking back at me.

"Are you ok B?" She asked putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah I am, truly I am… I uhh …I'm home again" She smiled at me nodding her head but remained silent.

Fifteen minutes later the cruiser pulled up and I found myself running into Charlie's awaiting arms. And suddenly I wasn't just saying that I was home but I was, I was home.

After introductions and several tears we were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and Charlie was apologizing that he didn't have much food in the house, because he didn't know what we liked to eat.

"If you girls make a list with what you want I'll be more than happy to go to the store and pick the stuff up for you" I stared at him, I mean I couldn't stop looking at him.. Here I was in my old kitchen in my old home sitting with my dad drinking coffee and he was willing to go to the store to buy me stuff I wanted.

It was as if I was never gone, as if the last time I had seen him was only a month ago instead of five years.

"No Dad" I said with a smile "You don't have to do that, Alice and I'll go, you just relax and we'll be back before you know it"

"Yeah Charlie, Bella and I'll go she's right" Alice confirmed with a huge grin on her face.

He looked at us shaking his head.

"Alright girls, but I'm paying for the stuff and I don't want any arguments about the matter" He smirked looking at me expectantly.

"Ok dad" I grinned at him, loving that he still knew me.

Twenty minutes later we were at the grocery store while I was standing in the cereal isle holding two boxes of cereal reading the labels not knowing which one to buy.

Alice told me that she needed to make some phone calls and that she had to do it outside because the reception inside wasn't great.

Not knowing which one to choose I just threw them both in the cart and as I turned around I felt the cart hit something hard.

Before I even realized what had happened I heard a loud groan.

My head instantly snapped in the direction of the sound only to find a someone bend forward clutching his knee.

"Oh my God! Shit.. I am so sorry!" I cried pushing the cart aside placing my hand on his shoulder.

He held his hand up as if he was asking me to give him a minute, so I did.

_Way to go Bella! _I scolded myself.

As the guilt washed over me my head fell forward and I found myself staring at my shoes.

"Well you look like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" I heard him say, his voice sounding a little shaky.

And I was afraid that I had maybe hit him in the head because of what he had said made no sense whatsoever.

More embarrassed than before I slowly lifted my head wanting to apologize again, but when my eyes met his I was stunned.

I was stunned and shocked I froze instantly and it wouldn't have surprised me if my jaw had hit the floor.

Because I knew this person standing in front of me.

I remembered him, he had been one of my friends before I was forced to leave.

Before I was taken away from the people that truly loved me.

And never in a million years had I thought that I would see him again. But here he stood in front of me.

His face as kind as I remembered it to be. His blond somewhat curly hair longer than it had ever been. His eyes that wonderful pale blue yet so lively.

"Jasper?" my voice a mere whisper as I exhaled the breath that I didn't know I was holding.

I was in complete shock because it was him.

And I knew it was him because no one else in this small town would know to say things like that.

At first I thought that he didn't recognize me because he gave me a confused look.

But as the seconds past I could almost see the exact moment in which his brain made the connection, making him realize who I was.

"Bell?" He drawled in his typical smooth Texan accent.

"Is that you darlin?" The shock of realization now evident in his voice.

He stared at me and all I could do was stare right back at him.

And he looked the same as he did the last time that I seen him, but different at the same time.

Not trusting my voice I merely nodded my head.

And before I realized what was happening he was holding me and I was clinging to him.

Not able to hold the tears back any longer I started to sob.

"Bella it is you" He whispered into my hair.

"Yes Jazz its me" I whispered in between sobs.

"But how?.. W-when did you? .. I mean you're… darlin Bell you're really here!"

The only thing I could do was nod, so that's what I did.

I just nodded against his chest because for the live of me I couldn't find my voice.

We stood there for a while just holding each other.

I didn't care that we were standing in the middle of the isle of the grocery store.

I didn't care that I was crying there.

I didn't care about anything in that moment, because

I was there with Jasper.

He was holding me.

We were holding onto each other.

"Hey B where are you?" I heard Alice's voice in the distance.

I took deep breath before releasing my hold on Jasper to answer her.

I looked up at him and couldn't help but smile because he was smiling back.

"I'm at the cereal isle Brandon" I said out loud causing Jasper to chuckle because my voice was thick from the tears I had shed.

A few seconds later I heard Alice gasp next to me.

I looked at her and she was watching me, her eyes wide with shock.

"Oh my God B! what happened?" She asked looking between Jasper and I.

"Why are you crying?" Narrowing her eyes she glared at Jasper before continuing. "What did you do to her?" She spat at him. "Who are you?" Her eyes focused on his arms around my waist. "What are you doing you creep! Let go of her!" Her voice laced with venom.

And before I could explain anything to her she yanked me away from Jasper and was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips glaring at him.

Jaspers mouth fell open with surprise but he composed himself quickly and stared at her with amusement in his eyes.

_I know that look…_

"The little firecracker sure is a looker Bell" He said with a grin never taking his eyes of off her.

Alice huffed and I burst out laughing.

I was laughing so loud and so hard that I was gripping my sides because I knew that if I didn't I would probably be rolling on the floor, that's how hard I was laughing.

I was laughing because for the first time in years I truly had something to laugh about.

After a few minutes my laughs died down and I looked up at Alice and Jasper. And they were standing there next to each other looking at me like I was crazy.

And it probably did look like I was crazy in their eyes.

I had tears on my cheeks from laughing so hard and I was panting trying to catch my breath.

"Uhmm B?" Alice was the first to break the silence.

Oh God… she looked so confused.

_Time to fill her in._

"Oh Alice… remember when I told you about home?… about my friends… well that… that's Jasper!.. that's my friend Jasper!" I said in between taking breaths.

Jaspers smile grew wider because I had called him my friend.

And Alice looked up at him, but this time she smiled at him before looking back at me.

I walked over to them and took both their hand in mine.

"Alice" I looked at her smiling. "This is Jasper Withlock"

"And Jasper" I grinned at him.

_Yeah you know why I grinned at you Jazz…_

"Jasper… this is Alice Brandon" I finished smiling at them both.

They both nodded shaking hands.

"Hi" Alice said softly smiling at him.

"Howdy" His voice smooth again and his eyes twinkling.

After that we had finished doing our groceries and I had invited Jasper to come over at the house because I didn't want to let him go now that I had found him.

So twenty minutes later I was unlocking the door and Jasper was standing next to Alice behind me holding our bags.

"Dad were back!" I called out but was met with silence.

"Uh B? the cruiser wasn't parked outside I think he's not here" Alice told me while we walked to the kitchen.

"Bell there's a note on the table" Jasper said nodding his head towards the table.

I walked over to the table and picked up the note and read it out loud.

_Bells,_

_I got a call from the station,_

_and I didn't want to interrupt you girls by calling._

_I'm working the night shift just so you know._

_Don't worry I'll call you later tonight._

_Just enjoy yourself and I'll see you in the morning._

_Be safe.._

_-Dad-_

Jasper walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulder taking the note from me and setting it on the table.

"It's alright Bell Come here" He said before pulling me into a hug.

"I know Jazz" My voice cracked when I felt the tears on my cheeks.

After a few minutes I pulled myself away from Jasper and wiped the tears away.

"You guys sit down, I'm going to the bathroom" I said looking at them. "I'll be right back".

They both nodded and I went upstairs.

Five minutes later I was walking down the stairs when I heard them talking in the kitchen.

And froze when I heard Jasper mention Edwards name.

"Yeah Edward was pretty much the same" I heard Jasper say with a sigh. "We all were"

I heard Alice let out a soft sigh when Jasper continued.

"And he's still messed up over losing her. He hasn't been the same since."

I found myself standing in the doorway hugging myself.

"What do you mean he hasn't been the same since?" They were sitting across from each other at the dining table as they looked up at me.

"Well.. when you left" He ran his hand trough his hair. "I mean when you were taken away from us, Edward was so sad.. He became numb Bell.." Shaking his head from side to side. "And then after months of.. Of nothing he just.. Snapped"

"I mean he snapped and it was like he didn't care anymore.. It was like when you left a part of him left with you"

"And then he started skipping school because he didn't care anymore. He started drinking and other things.. And it was bad Bell really bad" He closed his eyes at the memory.

"But then Emmet had enough and he kicked his ass, I mean he really kicked his ass and then a small piece of him returned. But he's still not the same"

I hugged myself tighter at this information, because I knew how bad it was for me and I had thought about how Edward would handle it.. But I never imagined that it would be this bad.

"So are you still friends?" I asked Jasper.

"Yeah that we are" His smile was sad.

Relieve washed over me at Jaspers words of them still being friends although it did sting a little when he told me that Emmet had hurt Edward, but I guess that must have been the only thing to do.

Even though I was happy with the things that Jasper was telling me. I wanted to know more I needed to know more.

"Does he still live here? I mean with Carlisle and Esme" I had to know if he was here if he still lived in Forks.

I hoped he did but I was also afraid that he did because I didn't know what his reaction would be if he saw me again.

Fuck! I didn't even know what my reaction would be when or if I saw him again.

"No" Jasper said and the hole in my chest became bigger. "He shares an apartment with Emmet now" He finished.

"Really" I asked and I felt my breath hitch.

"Yeah they've been roomies for the last two and a half years now." Jaspers smile grew wider.

"Its been good for him Bell and Emmet he looks out for him.. Keeps him in line you know"

We talked for a while longer about how everyone had been doing here in Forks and about how my life in Phoenix was and some other random stuff.

We were sitting there talking about if we should make some food ourselves or just order in when Jaspers phone started to ring.

Without looking at the caller ID he answered.

"Yellow" He drawled with a smirk

I was watching him when all of a sudden he looked at me curiously.

"Uh yeah I'm across town" He spoke into the phone while holding my gaze.

He eyed me even more curiously before speaking again.

"I'm at Charlie's house" And then he closed his phone placing it on the table in front of me.

Sighing he closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again and looked up at me I knew.

I knew what he was about to say.

So when he spoke my heart stopped.

_Edward's on his way…_

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**Geezz that was a bit longer than I had anticipated.**

**So I hope you liked it.. Review?**


	3. Food with a Twist

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**Disclaimer: I do Not own anything Twilight.**

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**The words just keep coming it's almost like a fucking volcano spewing It's ash.**

**Just let me warn you that the updates may not be as fast as these first three chapters because I actually do have a life.. *Grins***

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**Lets continue.. Shall we?**

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**Enjoy!**

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~*~** Edward ~*~**

"Edward dear will you please go to the store for me?" My fingers ran absentmindedly through my hair eliciting a groan that seemed to come straight from my toes. Opening my eyes I saw Esme looking at me with an amused twinkle in her eyes.

I smiled without even realizing I was doing it while shaking my head. I fucking swear on all that is Holy that she knew.

The woman just always knew.

It was Monday and I was in my parents house sitting on a barstool at the end of the kitchen counter watching Esme while she was mixing the ingredients she needed for the cheese cake she was making.

I closed my eyes remembering how I almost had a fucking panic attack at Jaspers party on Saturday night when I thought that I had smelled Bella on that fucking towel. Only to find out that it wasn't her, because that stupid fucking bitch Lauren Mallory had a new type of body lotion that smelled like _strawberries & Lilac._

_Fucking Bitch!_

I opened my eyes rubbing my face when Esme turned around.

She walked over to me stood behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"I know you're not exactly looking forward to next week" She began massaging my shoulders and neck causing me to relax under her touch. As a small throaty moan escaped my mouth I heard her chuckle softly.

_Yeah no shit.. _I thought to myself.

I was dreading that day.

No I fucking hated that day, but I couldn't do anything about it because well.. Fuck, I'm not God or whatever. I couldn't even think about that fucked up day without having the feeling that my heart was getting ripped out making the hole in my fucking chest bigger than it already was.

On that day for the past four years I would get fucked up with Jasper and Emmet and end up crying like a little bitch.

Every fucking year I would relive that day.

I would watch her walk into my room without saying a word.

I would see her sit down next to me with her eyes fixed on the ground before her.

I would hear and see her start to cry.

And I would see the devastation and in her beautiful brown eyes.

***

"Edward… oh Edward" She said between sobs, but I didn't know why she was crying. I couldn't figure out what was going on because I had never seen Bella so sad.

I scooted over to her and pulled her closer to me wrapping my arms around her small body.

"Shh… Its ok Bella" Kissing the top of her head. "I've got you" I told her.

Somehow that only made her cry even harder.

"Bella what's wrong?" I asked tightening my hold on her because she was starting to scare me.

"Bella tell me what's wrong … please.. You're starting to scare me.. Please tell me" My mind was running a mile a minute.

"Oh Edward everything is wrong" Her voice a mere whisper. "I just.. I can't.. I don't want.."

Her whole body shaking at this point and if I wasn't so focused on her I don't think that I would have ever heard the next thing she said.

"Edward I'm so scared"

***

I shuddered closing my eyes willing the memory of that day to disappear.

"I'll go mom, just tell me what you need" Esme dropped her hands from my shoulders and kissed my cheek before she walked over to the refrigerator.

"Let me see… um do you want raspberry's on top or strawberries?" she asked me without turning around.

"Uh strawberries I guess?"

"Well alright then pick us up some of those and I think we need some butter …and" She paused walking back and opening a cupboard above her head while tapping her chin.

"Oh yeah some icing sugar please" She turned around and smiled at me.

"Ok mom, do you need anything else while I'm there?" I agreed standing up.

"No thank you dear that's all" She smiled.

I glanced around until I saw my keys on the table behind me, picked them up and made my way to my car.

After I returned from the store Emmet and Carlisle had arrived and were sitting in the kitchen talking to each other but as soon as I stepped through the door Carlisle cleared his throat successfully ending their conversation.

I gave Emmet a "_What the fuck was that about" _look and he shook his head shrugging his shoulders.

"Hello son" Carlisle smiled at me.

"Hey dad" I smiled back.

I sat down and we talked until Esme told us that dinner was ready. We sat their eating and talking about random stuff until Carlisle decided to mention Chief Swan.

I got angry at the mere mention of his name and fucking pissed off at Carlisle that would do that.

"Listen son you cannot remain angry with Charlie because of what happened so many years ago" He sighed looking at me.

"The fuck I can" I retorted.

"Honey plea-" Esme tried to calm me down but it only made me more angry.

"NO!" I yelled throwing my fists angrily on the table.

"He never should have let her get away with it!.. He should have fucking done something to stop her.. But He didn't! He didn't do one fucking thing to keep her here.. And I.. I FUCKING HATE HIM FOR IT!" I was so fucking angry at Charlie that he couldn't keep her here with me.

"He might as well have taken her away himself" I didn't bother looking at them as I stood up.

"Thank you for dinner mom I'll call you later." I gave her a kiss on her cheek and walked out the door.

When I came home I walked straight to the kitchen grabbed a bottle of jack and started to drink.

The next day I woke up in my own bed I lifted my head to look at the time and found a bottle of water next to a bottle of ibuprofen. _fucking Emmet_

The next couple of days went pretty much the same, I would get up eat a bit and drink some more.

* * *

"_Edward?" Her voice was soft and I immediately relaxed because of it._

"_Edward please let me in" I huffed a bit before I walked over to the door and unlocked it._

_Running my fingers through my hair I plopped face down back onto my bed. Bella opened the door and sat down beside me._

"_listen Edward I know you don't like him, but I do" I heard her sigh before she stood up and plopped down as well._

_I turned my head in her direction only to see her watching me intently. _

"_I know" I mumbled under my breath._

_She picked up her hand and brought it to my hair stroking it softly._

_We lay there for a while looking at each other her hand still stroking my hair._

"_I'm just afraid that you'll spend all your time with him now" She closed her eyes._

"_No I wont" I sighed because Jasper had told me that when his sister started dating Felix, that she was always with him and never had any time for her._

"_But-" I wanted to tell her what Jasper had told me when she opened her eyes and cut me off._

"_Edward I promise you that I will always have and make time for you" She smiled._

"_And I don't care what Jazz told you about Bree and Felix because I'm not your sister" She propped herself on her shoulder placing a kiss on my cheek. "I actually love spending my time with you" She winked at me with a grin._

_I rolled over onto my back before sitting back up. Bella did the same and I turned my body towards her. _

"_You promise?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow._

_She hugged me hard before whispering in my ear._

"_Of course silly" I felt her chuckle against my shoulder. "You'll never get rid of me if I have a say in it"_

* * *

"EDWARD!" I jumped up opening my eyes and looking around me.

"Get your ass up you've been asleep for half the day!"

"FUCK OFF!" I shouted at him and let my head fall back on my pillow.

I groaned hearing him make his way towards my door. Not bothering to knock he yanked it open and stepped inside.

"Alright asshole" He said glancing around my room.

Yeah sure it was a fucking mess in here but I didn't fucking care

"Shit dude this place is a fucking mess" I groaned throwing my pillow at him, but missing him entirely because I still felt a little drunk.

"Fuck you!" I spat. "what do want?"

"Well asshole.." He paused picking up the pillow from the floor. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm spending the night at Rose's house" He smirked throwing the pillow back hitting me square on my chest before turning to the door again. But paused before he stepped out of the room.

"And don't forget to buy some food" And then he was gone.

I closed my eyes rubbing my face in an attempt to wake up but failing miserably because of the dream I had before fucking Emmet woke me up.

I groaned and got up and out of bed walking over to the my dresser to find some clothes. I opened the drawer and grabbed the first shirt I found a pair of boxer briefs some socks and my favorite baggy jeans.

I turned around and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower cause smelled worse than a fucking homeless street bum.

Just as I turned on the water on in the shower I heard the front door close.

After an hour I was clean standing in front of the fridge trying to find something to eat, but found nothing because it was practically empty.

"Fucking Emmet" I murmured.

I sighed flipping my phone open because I really didn't feel like going out to buy food. I scrolled down smiling when I found the number I was looking for and hit the call button and waited. It rang three times before he picked up.

"Yellow" I rolled my eyes at Jaspers stupid fucking greeting.

"I need food" I said not bother with the proper greeting.

"I'm doin fine thanks for askin" I rolled my eyes again.

"I said I need fucking food" As I ran my hand through my hair.

"Well don't you sound like a one-legged man at a but-kicking contest" He fucking chuckled when he said that shit.

_Fuck you! _

_Like I don't already know when I'm fucking frustrated._

"Fuck you Jasper" I couldn't help but smirk, cause the fucker always said shit like that to me.

"Alright Galoot see you in an hour" And the line went dead.

I walked over to the living room and plopped down onto the couch and turned the TV on flipping through channels until I settled on Cartoon Network. Cause there's nothing fucking better that Dexter's Laboratory on a Saturday afternoon when you're hung over and hungry.

I sat there for a while and I must have dozed of at some point because when I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock the surround sound I fucking gaped when I saw that it was almost five o' clock. I had slept for nearly four hours.

_What the fuck?_

I grabbed my phone to call Jasper and to ask him where the fuck he was with my food.

"I'll give you a fucking hour" I mumbled rubbing my face.

It rang three times before he picked up.

"Yellow" He said again.

"Where is my fucking food?" I sneered into the phone. "Don't tell me you're still at the fucking store!" I waited for him to answer.

"Uh Yeah I'm across town" He said sounding off like… the fuck if I know? He just sounded off.

Now you can tell me anything and try to convince me about all kinds of crap but, I will never believe that you can spend almost four fucking hours at a grocery store. So I know that mother fucker is not telling me the truth.

"What the Fuck Jasper? Where the fuck are you?" Not that I really fucking cared where he was, I just wanted my fucking food.

"Answer me fuck face" my stomach growled as I waited for him to answer.

"I'm at Charlie's house" He said.

_The FUCK??_

"What the FUCK are you doing there?" I shot up out off the couch, my heart pounding.

Why the fuck would he be there?

He doesn't have a fucking reason to be there.

He only went there when Bella was home.

Was she back? No way she couldn't be back. Could she?

My mind was running fucking wild and I had a million questions racing trough my head. But the only thing I wanted to know was if she was back.

_Could she?_

"Jasper" I said trying to keep my voice from cracking. "Is she.. I-Is Bella back?" I stammered feeling my knees buckle as I grabbed the back of the couch for support.

Jasper was silent.

"FUCK!" I yelled dropping to my knees.

"I'm on my way!" I shut my phone taking a deep breath to calm the fuck down.

"FUCK! Bella's back.. She's fucking back!" I yelled not able to believe it.

_Fuck fuck fuck!_

I grabbed my car keys yanked the front door open and flung it shut behind me. And I motherfucking ran to my car. Ignoring the people I passed I quickly made it to the Volvo.

"Bella's back" I said again while unlocking the car door and stepping inside.

I put the key into the ignition starting the car hit the floored the gas pedal and sped away. All the while my heart was pounding like a fucking Chiuaua on crack.

It didn't take me long to drive over to Charlie's house because I drove like a fucking maniac ignoring all the stop signs, luckily for me Forks is a small town so there aren't a whole lot of cars on the roads on a Saturday. Before I knew I rounded the corner parking my car right in front of the porch.

I hit the brake yanking my door open. I left it open nearly tripping in my attempt to get there as fast as I could.

I didn't even shut the motor off and to be honest I didn't give a flying fuck about that shit because Bella was back. She was back and I was about to see her again. I was about to see her beautiful face again, hear her voice, feel her touch, hold her close. I would talk to her again like we did when we were younger she'd be stubborn about stuff and annoy the fuck out of me. We would fight and bitch and moan about it, but laugh it off after a while. And all those things made me fucking miss her like a lunatic.

_Thank you God! _

I stumbled my way op the porch steps and before I even raised my hand to knock on the door. It flung open and I froze.

I fucking froze gaping like a mother fucker because there she was my Bella standing in front of me.

I couldn't fucking believe that she was actually in front of me standing there.

She was standing there and she was Beautiful.

She was so beautiful her long brown hair falling over her shoulders, her beautiful eyes rimmed with tears boring into mine.

She was back and everything that I had felt for the last five years were forgotten. In that instant I forgot the pain I felt when she was gone, I forgot the anger and the hate that had crept its way into my heart making me numb to the world. Non of that shit mattered anymore because my Bella was back.

"Oh God" My voice just above a whisper as I felt the tears falling down my cheeks.

"Bella?" I asked her. "Is it really you?…are you really here?" I was so desperate to hear her voice, to know that she was here and that I hadn't lost my fucking mind.

She was standing there with her hand over her heart tears streaming down the delicate skin on her face. Staring at me as if she had seen a ghost.

"Edward?.. Oh Edward" She let go of the door and launched herself towards me wrapping her arms around my neck, hitting me so hard almost knocking the wind out of me.

"Bella my dear sweet Bella" I whispered against the nape of her neck.

"Edward.. Edward Oh God" She breathed between sobs. "I've missed you so.."

We stood there clinging to one another holding on for dear life and bawling our eyes out. I vaguely recall hearing sirens in the background followed by hushed voices. The only thing my mind seemed to be conscious of was the fact that I was finally holding Bella in my arms again after all these years.

I have no idea how long we remained there outside on the porch, but at some point my knees must have given out. Because when I opened my eyes I noticed that we were both sitting down on our knees still holding on to each other.

By this point our cries had been reduced to whimpers while we took deep breaths. My hold on her remained the same but tightened slightly when I heard someone clear their throat.

"Um Bella?" I heard Jasper say while slowly easing my hold on her. "Edward? Maybe you should come inside." Opening my eyes I looked up at him and saw him wipe his cheek quickly.

I nodded my head as I gently pulled away to look at Bella.

"My God Bella, I still can't believe you're in my arms" I looked at her and when her eyes met mine I found myself getting lost in them. And I couldn't help but smile at her.

"I know" She whispered softly.

"Come on" I started getting up lifting her with me. "Jaspers right we should get inside"

She nodded her head wrapping her arms around my waist while I pulled her into my side with my arm across her shoulder.

We walked into the house and I felt weird, weird because I hadn't been there for years.

"Hi I'm Alice" I looked up and saw a small girl standing next to Jasper in front of the kitchen. She had the biggest fucking grin of her face when she looked between Bella and me.

"Oh sorry Brandon" Bella said looking up at me. "Edward That's Alice Brandon" She nodded towards her, but holing my gaze.

"Hi Alice" I grinned at her quickly offering her a hand. She accepted and asked us if we wanted to eat something.

"Yeah I am kinda hungry, are you hungry Edward?" She smiled at me and I nodded to her.

I turned around to answer Alice when I saw Jasper looking at the floor.

_Yeah hang your Goddamn head in shame._

"Yeah me too, thank you Alice" I told her smiling at her.

I cleared my throat and Jasper looked up while I shot daggers at him. He turned around towards the kitchen to help Alice.

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* * *

**So.. What will happen when Edward comes face 2 face with Charlie? Hmmm... **


	4. Adrian Paul was Hot

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.**

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**Damn! I know I said I have a life… but I just can't seem to stop thinking about this story or writing it for that matter. **

**I must admit that I tried to upload this chapter yesterday, but Fanfiction failed me..*smiles sheepishly***

**This chapter is all Bella again and let me tell you it's sweet, funny has a bit of cursing in it and at the end… well I guess you'll just have to read it… *Smirks***

**Also I have to say..**

**I LOVE ALL OF YOU!! **

**Especially the ones following This Story!**

**you know who you are...*winks***

**YOU ROCK!!**

**XOXOXO**

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**You know you want to.. So**

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**Enjoy!**

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* * *

~*~**Bella**~*~

I was sound asleep when I felt something stir next to me, affectively causing me to wake from my dreamless sleep. Feeling the familiar yet foreign warmth I reached out my hand and absentmindedly traced something warm yet damp with my fingertips.

_What the? _

I held my breath when realization hit me like a ton of bricks that it was _someone _that was laying next to me and _not_ something. Afraid of who the Hell it was laying here next to me I tried to retract my hand.

_Holy shit! Was is that guy I met last week? Oh God Bella how much did you fucking drink this time? Oh God please no!_

But before I managed to retract it all the way I felt a warm hand reach for it and place it back to where it was.

I stiffened instantly when I heard him moan softly.

_Fuck! _

I wiggled a little and tried to retract my hand again, but before I could, I heard a soft chuckle.

"Stop moving around so much you'll make me fall" His voice was soft velvety like yet raw with sleep.

Trying my best to place the voice that I had just heard I once again held my breath when I figured it out.

_Edward._

"Breathe Bella" He said and I opened my eyes but didn't see much because it was still dark.

"Edward?" I asked hoping that I hadn't lost my mind.

"Who did you expect?" He asked between chuckles. "Keanu Reeves maybe or that guy that played the Highlander guy on TV." He shifted a bit until he was facing me with a lazy grin on his face which was barely noticeable despite of the soft light filtering through from the kitchen above our heads.

"No" I snorted stiffening a laugh because I hadn't thought about that TV show in years.

_Yeah Adrian Paul was definitely HOT!!_

Completely ignoring my protest Edward continued.

"Yeah what was his name?" He said tapping his chin with his index finger. "Paul something right?" Our eyes meeting for the first time since we had both woken up.

"No, I most certainly did not think it was Keanu Reeves or _Adrian Paul _laying next to me for that matter." I said trying to keep my voice even. But failing miserably because I almost instantly felt the heat rush to my cheeks because I was hoping against hope that it was in fact Edward laying next to me.

He held my gaze, but didn't say anything so I continued.

"I was in fact hoping that it was uhmm that it was.." I trailed of closing my eyes when he reached his hand towards my face and caressed my cheek sending a jolt of electricity trough my entire body causing me to shiver under his touch.

"Are you cold Bella?" He whispered softly removing his hand from my cheek.

"No I'm not cold" I whispered back opening my eyes.

"I just can't believe that I'm really here" I said raising my head and looking around the room, only now noticing that we were laying on the couch together with a blanket covering us.

"And that you're here" I smiled at him. "That we're here" I reached my hand out running my fingers through his hair, causing him to close his eyes.

"God Bella I've missed you so much" He pulled me towards him and hugged me tight.

"I've missed you so much Edward Cullen" I threw my arms around his neck placing my chin on his shoulder. "My best friend in the whole entire world."

We held each other for a few seconds longer just reveling the silence before Edward spoke again.

"Come on best friend lets get some shut eye" He released me from his embrace before pulling me against his chest.

I let out a sigh closing my eyes and listening to his soothing breaths.

*****

"Do you think their still asleep?" I smiled at the sound of Jaspers voice.

"Well I think Edward is" I heard Alice chuckle softly "But by the look on her face I think that B is awake"

"Fuck off Brandon" I groaned and felt Edwards arms tighten around me which made my smile wider.

"Whoa there darlin" Jasper chuckled causing Alice to giggle.

"Shut the Fuck up Jasper" Edward said with a loud groan.

"Well I guess our job here is done"

"Yup, lets make some Coffee" Alice snickered "At least then we wont have to deal with grumpy B"

I huffed in annoyance because they wouldn't fucking shut the Hell up.

They both chuckled at that, making there way into the kitchen.

A couple of minutes after they left I yawned stretching my body but stilled abruptly when I heard Edward growl against the back of my neck before grabbing my hips affectively stopping me in mid stretch.

"Bella" He warned breathlessly.

My eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice and I briefly wondered why the Hell he was preventing me from stretching.

_What the Fuck?_

"What the fuck are you doing Edw-" I trailed of slowly turning around when I realized or rather _felt_ why he had stopped me. When I turned around fully I looked at Edward and the look in his eyes as well as his flushed cheeks were all the answer I needed.

I opened my mouth to apologize but was cut off by Edward.

"I'm sorry" He said his voice a mere whisper as he closed his eyes.

"Uh Yeah it's um okay" I murmured trying to make the situation less awkward.

"Yeah, okay" Edward said his eyes still closed.

*****

Minutes later Jasper came into the Living room telling us that the coffee was made while Alice yelled that I should hop under the shower, because she didn't want to spend the day inside, saying something about wanting to go sightseeing. What the Hell it was that she wanting to see here in Forks? I had no idea.

So after downing two cups of coffee and making some early morning small talk with the guys, and Edward promising that he would return after a quick shower and a change of clothes at his house. He stood up and said a quick goodbye to Alice and Jasper before turning to me and pulling me into a great big hug.

"I'll see you later?" He asked pulling away from me slowly.

"You bet your ass scruffy" I said fingering his over night stubble.

He smiled at me before kissing me on the cheek and walking out the door. I stood in the doorway watching him walk to his car.

"Hey! You have a Volvo!" I yelled excitedly remembering Edward telling me when we were younger that when he was old enough to drive that it would have to be a Volvo, something about it being the safest car in the world.

He turned around grinning at me before opening his door and getting in. I watched him pull out of the parking spot and make his way down the road. I stood there grinning like a fool because my best friend had gotten the car he always wanted.

He rounded the corner and when he did I walked back into the house, closing the door behind me I walked towards the kitchen where Alice and Jasper were sitting at the table and talking. I smiled at the thought that maybe they would also become friends.

Alice looked up at me asking me if I wanted another refill, I shook my head telling her that I was going upstairs to take a much needed shower and get myself dressed for the day. She nodded and returned her attention to Jasper which gave me a quick wink before I turned on my heel towards the stairs.

*****

Forty five minutes later I was showered and dressed sitting down briefly on my old bed to put my socks on. When I finished with the socks I glanced around seeing a few snippets from my past.

There were a couple of pictures of me and Edward growing up.

Most were of us playing in the Cullen's backyard and a few were of us on the playground. As I stood up to walk towards the pictures I heard loud voices coming from downstairs. Opening my door I recognized the voices and gasped at the loud yelling.

"You should have done something about it" I heard Edward yell angrily at Charlie as I practically ran down the stairs.

"Edward you'd better hold your tongue son beca-" Charlie started to say just as I stepped into the kitchen where they stood across one another, but was cut off by Edward.

"Hold my tongue" His voice even angrier while he shook his head. "I held my fucking tongue when _she _took Bella away from _me_ from _us_! I held my fucking tongue when my fucking heart was ripped from my fucking chest! But most of all" He stopped glaring at Charlie. "I held my fucking tongue when _you_ didn't do anything to fucking stop _her_._" _

I stood there holding my breath not able to move because I could feel the tension rising between them, the two men in my life that I have ever loved.

In that moment as they stood there glaring at each other, their chests heaving from the large breath intakes to calm them selves.

I could feel the anger emanating from Edward.

I could feel Charlie's anger towards Edward's words.

But most of all I could feel their hurt and their pain because of the years that had been stolen from them, from me, from _us._

"Oh God" I whispered feeling big fat tears roll down my cheeks.

"Bella baby?" Charlie was at my left instantly.

"Bella? What's wrong sweety?" Edward asked from my right his voice full of concern.

Not trusting my voice I closed my eyes shaking my head.

"Bella baby.. Do you need to sit down?" Charlie moving me towards the couch.

I sat down on the couch silent tears falling down my cheeks as Edward asked me if I wanted some water. I nodded and Charlie stood up without a word and walked into the kitchen.

I opened my eyes and saw Edward in front of me sitting on the edge of the coffee table rubbing my knee soothingly. I threw my arms around him resting my face in the crook of his neck while the tears kept flowing.

"I'm sorry Bella… I'm so fucking sorry sweetheart" His soft lips grazing my ear as he whispered his apology to me.

And I knew that he wasn't apologizing for the words that he had spoken to Charlie. I knew that he was apologizing for everything that had happened even though non of it was his fault. He was apologizing for the years that we lost, the years that were taken away, stolen from us.

He was apologizing because Renee never did.

He was apologizing because he knew that he was the only person that I would accept the apology from.

"Bella" He said slowly pulling away from me. "Drink a little water sweety"

I let go of his neck sniffling a bit as I took the glass of water from him.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked glancing around the room before looking at Edward.

"He said he'd be at Billy Black's place." I nodded, remembering the times that Charlie would spend going on fishing trips with Billy Black and Harry Clearwater at the Quilette Reservation down at La Push when I was growing up. I even remember that Edward and I went with him a couple of times when we were younger but stopped going because we would get bored after an hour or two and scare the fish away by jumping in the water.

* * *

_"Oh my God I'm so Bored" I said palming my face. _

_I was sitting at the water edge of the fishingrounds near La Push beach, Edward was sitting next to me throwing small rocks into the water, when Billy aproached us. _

_"Edward, Bella" He said smiling down at us._

_"Hi Mr Black" Edward smiled back._

_"Look kids, I know that fishing is'nt that exciting. But I also know that the two of you" He said waving his hand between Edward and me. " Can find something to occupy yourselves with. Being the smart kids that you are" He winked at us and left._

_Edward and I looked at each other trying to figure out what to do. I closed my eyes as if the act alone would magically pop an idea into my head. Igroaned opening my eyes because there was nothing, nothing what so ever. I looked over at where Edward was sitting and when I saw the look in his eyes. I just knew that he had some great evil masterplan._

_"What is it?" I asked watching his grin grow wider. "Spill it Cullen, I know you have something good"_

_I stood up and walked over to him._

_"Come here Bella" He said smiling mischieviously. I hunched down to his level and he told me that the only way we could get out of going on fishingtrips with Charlie, would be if we could somehow scare the fish away so that they did'nt catch any for a while. I nodded at him and taking my shoes off, he did the same and then we ran, hand in hand into the water screaming at the top of our longs._

_"SAVE YOURSELVES FISHY'S, SAVE YOURSELVES"_

* * *

"And Alice and Jasper?" I asked realizing that neither of them were here.

"Jazz took Alice to the diner for some breakfast when I got here and saw Charlie.." He took a deep breath exhaling before he continued. "And he didn't know if Alice knows.. So.." he didn't finish his train of thought and he didn't have to because I knew what he was about to say. I shook my head because Alice in fact didn't know the whole story of why I moved to Phoenix.

"So how about some breakfast?" Edward asked pulling me from my thoughts.

"Uh yeah sure, I could eat" I said as moved to stand up.

"Nu-Uh you just sit and relax a little and I'll fix us something okay?" Edward said shaking his head and standing up.

"Umm okay?" I looked at him questionably not knowing if Edward even knew how to boil water let alone 'fix' something as he put it.

Edward chuckled at my facial expression saying that his mother taught him well.

I sat down and sunk unto the couch picked up the remote control from Charlie's flat screen TV and flipped trough the pages as I heard Edward whistle in the kitchen.

I skipped past CNN, Fox News and Animal Planet and settled on Cartoon Network when I heard Edward calling from the kitchen.

"Bella where does Charlie keep his spatula?"

"Um I don't know? Uh try the same cupboard where the skillets are" I yelled back.

I heard the cupboard open and close again before Edward spoke again.

"Thank you Bella!"

I smiled when I heard him resume his whistling.

*****

An hour later we were both groaning from the huge amount of food that we had consumed.

I scooted my chair away from the table sank back into my chair and looked at Edward who was sitting across from me while he rubbed his stomach.

_Well Hello there six pack friend!_

"Look at you and those abs" I said nodding my head towards him.

Edward smiled sheepishly pulling his shirt down.

"Uh yeah" He said running his hand through his hair. "I started working out with Emmet after.." He trailed off meeting my gaze. "He said I needed an outlet for my pent up anger. And that working out was the way to go.. So after him harassing me for a couple of months I caved.." He paused gauging my expression. "And I have to say it worked plus it gets the girls all hot and bothered. " He finished with a grin and a wink.

I stared at him in disbelieve then shook my head because this was a flash of the old Edward that I knew growing up, the memory alone causing a rush of heat to reach my cheeks.

"_Isabella_ Swan are you blushing?" He chuckled.

"Oh Fuck you Edward _Anthony_ Cullen!" I groaned hiding my face in my palms.

"Oh baby I love it when you talk dirty" He moaned. "Did you want to see my pecs as well?" Even though I wasn't looking at him I could picture him grinning like a Goddamned fool because his voice was dripping with amusement.

"NO!" I shouted.

He laughed and a few seconds later I heard ruffling noises coming from where he sat. My eyes shot open and I saw him standing in front of me leaning against the table _shirtless_.

I swallowed hard as I ogled his seemingly rock hard six pack, my eyes trailed down from his navel down his happy trail to the top of his jeans that hung low on his hips revealing the perfect V-shape. My eyes lingered there for a second or two as I involuntarily licked my lips, before traveling upwards over his perfect abs towards his chest. My eyes widened with shock as I looked up and met his gaze. He was watching me watch him with a smirk on his face.

I swallowed again.

"Edward? Is that a nipple ring?" I whispered.

He nodded his head, but didn't say a word. So I continued.

"Did it hurt?" I asked standing up and before I realized it, my fingers were brushing over his nipple.

"Like a bitch" He breathed looking down at my hand on his chest.

"Then why did you do it?" I asked tugging on the ring lightly, completely taken by the sight of it.

_Fuck that's Hot!_

"Bella" He tried to warn me, but it came out as a throaty moan which caused me shiver as his long fingers wrapped around my wrist.

I looked up at him and my breath hitched as I saw that his eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted. My mouth suddenly felt dry, I swallowed as I licked my lips again. My heart rate picked up as he opened his eyes and stared at me.

At this point my brain was shouting at me to step away from the nipple, to step away from Edward, the ungodly _gorgeously beautiful _man in front of me.

Edward my best friend that I hadn't seen in five years.

The same Edward that knew me better than anyone else.

The same Edward that was a boy when I saw him last.

I found myself not able to keep my eyes off of his as we held each others gaze. And before I knew it, before either of us realized it, my head was tilted upwards and Edwards was leaning slightly down. I looked between his eyes and his lips as he did the same. Both of us licking our lips.

When suddenly…

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**MuHahahaha….. **

**Yeah, Sorry about that.**

**So uh are you gonna yell at me?**

**Curse at me?**

**Or show me some love?**


	5. Feelings

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.**

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**So yeah, I don't really have much to say about this chapter, besides that it's a bit shorter than the others. **

**I however do want say, that you should also read these.**

**Hit By Destiny ****by ocdmess and ****Waking up**** by RiaMaria **

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**Oh yeah, and check out my profile for some pics for this story.**

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**As always, Enjoy!**

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~*~**Edward**~*~

_Motherfucking Son Of a Bitch!!!!!_

I screamed inwardly because What the Fuck was that?

I wanted to kill that fucking bastard for what he had done.

And I would have if she had let me, damn the consequences to hell.

Because for five fucking years I had been hurt, heartbroken and angry.

So fucking angry that I didn't give a flying fuck about myself or others. I didn't give a damn when I started to fail my classes at Forks High. I sure as Hell didn't give a damn when Carlisle began to spout his knowledge up my fucking nose straight to my brains.

I most definitely didn't give a rats ass about all those fucking bitches that were under the impression that just because I _let_ them suck me off and clench around my cock, that I had _feelings _for them.

The only women I had feelings for were my mother and _my _Bella.

*****

I was fifteen, sitting in Carlisle's home office, and it was three weeks after I had seen Bella broken in front of me. She was so fragile and so fucking broken that it made me sick to the core that I couldn't do anything to help her, not a damn thing to keep her here with me.

"Edward, you can't keep going on like this, not as you have these past three weeks" Frustration set in yet again, because Carlisle was providing me with what he thought that I needed.

Shaking my head I threw my hands in my hair, because I just didn't understand why the hell he was doing this.

Why the hell couldn't he just leave me the fuck alone.

Sensing my frustration he stood up from his chair and walked over to me as I closed my eyes.

"Look Edward, I know that you're hurt because of what has happened, and I can't blame you.. But I can't let you ruin everything that you have worked so hard for to achieve just because of this. And I sure as hell am not going to just sit here and let you carry on like this." I groaned because he didn't know anything, and because when I heard him utter the words 'worked so hard for' I blocked him out.

I didn't care about what he was telling me, because I didn't want to hear any of it. I was fucking sick and tired of him and of everyone else.

The only thing that I wanted was just one day that I didn't have to feel this pain, this anger.

Basically I just wanted to be numb.

"Are you even listening to me?" I opened my eyes and saw that Carlisle was sitting in front of me on the edge of his desk with one hand in his hair and the other pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, Dad, I am listening, I've been listening to every word you've said." I sighed running my fingers through my hair. _Yeah, like father like son._

He looked at me for a moment and I knew that he wanted to say more, but I just wasn't in the mood for his bullshit.

"Are we done here?" Averting my eyes from his they traveled to the pictures on the wall behind his desk. There were several pictures of him and my mom from when they were younger, some of my grandparents, until my gaze wondered off to where it always ended.

I closed my eyes again and shook my head, trying to shake the memories out of my head, because in those pictures there were only happy faces, and I for the life of me couldn't remember the last time that I was happy.

Carlisle sighed telling that I was free to go, but not before telling me that this conversation wasn't over yet.

From the moment the door was shut behind me, I started to run. I ran op the stairs to my room grabbing my phone out of my pocket dialing Jasper, he answered after the third ring.

"Yellow" He drawled.

"I need to find me some beer, are there any parties tonight?" I asked him.

"Uh, yeah, Sam's having a get together down at First Beach"

"Alright, I'll be over in ten"

That night was the first time that I sneaked out of my house, the first time I drank beer, the first time I got drunk, the first time I got into a drunken fight, but also the first time I did more with a girl than just make out.

That was the first time I had _sex_. But definitely not the last time.

The next couple of months went pretty much like that night, until Carlisle got fed up with my behaviour which led Esme to become sad and pretty much cry herself to sleep every night, because I was not the sweet and innocent boy that I once was.

"Edward, go get your bags so that Kate and Garret wont have to wait to long when they get here" As much as I groaned, huffed and puffed, and bitched or moaned I couldn't do anything than listen to him.

It was almost one year after Bella was gone, and Carlisle was sending me away, to stay with his best friend that he knew from his college years.

Kate and Gerrit Denali whom mind you, lived all the way up in Fucking Alaska, with their daughters Tanya and Irina.

Even though our parents hadn't seen each other on a regular basis due to the distance, they remained best friends.

So to say that I was shocked when I got there was a fucking understatement. Because well… Fuck me, if Tanya and Irina hadn't grown out of their awkward stage. They looked like they knew a thing or two, if you catch my drift.

And I found out exactly how much Tanya knew, when she sneaked into my bedroom an hour before my sixteenth birthday, to give me my present.

I have to admit that I was fucking annoyed at first when she walked in, even though she and I had been flirting with each other since the day that I got there, we just never took it further than that, because I was fifteen and she was seventeen.

But I also have to admit that I was pretty fucking smug and downright giddy when she left an hour later.

Because as a birthday gift to me, she let me fuck her from behind… twice.

After that first time, I pretty much ignored her throughout the day, and fucked her at night.

We carried on like that for several months, until she started to bitch about her feelings, so much so that I stopped fucking her. Only to start fucking Irina instead.

So, when I left almost a year and a half later, I knew exactly how much they knew and then some.

I didn't see Tanya or Irina for a couple of months after that.

*****

"Well, damn WOMAN, look at you" Riley said, affectively pulling me back to the present, while twirling Bella around, not even attempting to hide the serious eye fucking he did.

"Shut up Riley, you know how I hated you calling me that." Bella said

"Yeah, I know, but can you blame me?" He reached for Bella and pulled her towards him, successfully enveloping her with his arms.

I rolled my eyes and swiftly pulled my shirt back on.

_Stupid asshole._

Yeah, I never did warm up to Riley, even though he had been Bella first boyfriend. Which was probably the reason I never did, because I never liked that fucker, even before he and Bella started to date.

"I'll be in the other room if you need me" I told Bella. She wiggled out of Riley's arms, telling me that she'd be a minute.

As I sat there on the couch in Charlie's living room my mind started to replay the things that happened yesterday as well as today. Man, I don't think I have ever been more happy than I was this morning, when I woke up with Bella on the couch.

In fact I don't think that I was this happy when I first met her. Or when she told me that I was her best friend.

I wasn't even this happy when I lost my fucking _virtue_.

But if I was so happy only minutes before, why was it that I wasn't so happy at this very minute? I mean, I'm still here in this house, where I never in a million years thought I would be again. And I was fucking ecstatic to be here after all these years, and all because of Bella.

Loud laughter coming out of the kitchen gave me my answer.

_Yeah, you're not your peachy fucking self because of that fucker in there claiming Bella's time._

Immediately I opened my eyes and stood up.

As I made my way towards the kitchen I suddenly became aware that I hadn't heard any kind of noise come from there for a couple of minutes. And I wondered what they were doing.

Upon entry my whole body became rigid and I felt my entire body begin to shake, shake so violently because of what my eyes where seeing, but my mind had yet to register.

I stood there frozen in place, because there in front of me I saw Bella and Riley kissing, and this wasn't your normal 'hey I'm glad to see you again'.

No this was an entirely different kiss. This was a loving, lustful filled with pent up desire kiss. And I just stood there gaping, not knowing if I should walk away and give them there privacy or interrupt them.

_But why would I want to interrupt them? I mean its not like I have any say over what either of them do. _

And why the hell did I suddenly feel sick to my stomach?

When I saw Riley's hand starting to make its way towards the hem of Bella's shirt, I knew that they needed to stop.

I cleared my throat loudly and saw Riley's hand that was about to disappear under Bella's shirt drop to his side, causing Bella to jump out of his embrace.

Bella's eyes rapidly flickered between Riley and me, while Riley just stood there eyeing me down.

Not able to hold to resist my inner asshole, I couldn't help but smirk at Riley.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I just came in to grab a soda" I opened the fridge, took a can of Dr Pepper out and wiggled it in front of me.

"Uh yeah, no that's ok.. We were just.. Uh.. Yeah.." Bella's cheeks flushed while she stammered, trying to explain to me why Riley's tongue was shoved down her throat just moments ago.

"He, he was just leaving" Bella gestured towards Riley, keeping her eyes fixed on me.

"What?"

Breaking eye contact, Bella and I turned to Riley.

"Yes Riley, you where just leaving". Bella spat at him.

_Ha!_

Riley stood there practically gaping at Bella's statement, while she stood there glaring at him.

And I was…

_Huh?_

_What?_

_Wait a minute.._

_Why is she glaring at him?_

_Damn! that's my girl!_

I stood there with a fucking sissy ass can of soda, wishing I had a beer in one hand and popcorn in the other while sitting in a comfortable chair enjoying the show.

"Uh yeah, I guess I should go then" Riley said, as he dropped his head and started rubbing the back of his neck.

"Care to walk me out Bella?" He asked.

"No!"

"But.." Riley began to protest.

"But nothing Riley, you heard Bella" I closed the fridge and set the soda on the counter, and leaned against it crossing my arms in front of my chest.

He turned away from Bella and looked at me.

I grinned inwardly because, well like I said… I never did like the fucker.

Without saying anything else, Riley grabbed his jacket and left Bella and me standing in the kitchen. I turned to her and saw a single tear slide down her cheek.

"Are you ok?" I asked her, not sure why she was crying.

Bella turned around a walked over to the window in silence.

"Uh Bella? What's wrong?" I asked again walking towards her.

_What the fuck is going on?_

When I reached Bella I sensed that something wasn't quit as it should be. I mean, what the hell happened between the time that Riley arrived and now?

_If that mother fucker hurt her… if he did that to Bella, I 'm going to fucking kill him!_

I stood behind her and placed my hands gently on her shoulders, not wanting to startle her.

"Bella tell me" I whispered leaning my head down towards her ear.

"Please tell me.."

She turned around slowly with her eyes closed.

I sighed, cupping her face in my hands when I saw more tears running down her beautiful face.

"Bella.." I started, but stopped abruptly, holding my breath when she opened her eyes.

Her eyes were blank.

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**Thanks for reading again! **

**Review?**


	6. Not like this

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.**

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**This chapter was a little bit harder to wright that the other, so I hope that you guy's like it.**

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**Enjoy!**

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~*~**Bella**~*~

Empty.

That was the first word that made absolute sense in this senseless situation.

It was that exact word that seemed to sum it all up.

The way I felt, then and now.

What I saw in my own reflection when I would look in the mirror.

What I was surrounded in.

It was exactly what I was.

_Empty._

I wasn't angry anymore, because the anger had been replaced with something entirely different. The tears that I had shed, when Renee told me that I was to go with her were gone. Even the endless supply of tears that were spilling from my eyes, when I sat in Edward's room, telling him that I _had _to leave were all put spent, dried out, they were simply gone.

I was empty.

The way he tried to sooth me, even though we both knew that it was fruitless. The way he kept telling me that everything would be ok, while we both knew that it wasn't. The way we held onto each other, needing it both, but knowing that it would soon be a distant memory.

I wasn't afraid anymore, because there wasn't anything to be fearful about anymore.

In the end it was all replaced with _nothing._

There was nothing left.

*****

"_Isabella, I have to speak to you" Renee called out from the kitchen. _

"_Uh sure mom, but can we talk quick, cause I promised Edward I would go over there after I dropped my stuff here." I said as I walked towards the kitchen, dropping my bag near the living room entrance. Before turning around just in time to see her put something her purse._

"_Ok mom, what's up?" I asked as I sat hopped onto the counter, after I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl there._

"_Yes, right. Like I said I have to speak to you." I bit down into my apple, and motioned for her to continue._

_She looked up at me with a slight frown, probably because I was sitting on the counter, knowing fully well that it was something that she didn't appreciate. I rolled my eyes and hopped off, walked to the table, pulled a chair out and sat down._

"_Ok mom, speak" I told her after I swallowed the piece I had been chewing on._

_She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths but didn't say anything. I sat there watching her, not quite sure why she would ask me too speak with her if she wasn't going to anything. As I was about to take another bite, she opened her eyes and looked me straight in the eye, before she began to speak._

"_Isabella, we're leaving. I want you to go pack some of your things, you need to hurry because the cab will be here in twenty minutes." _

"_What?" I said._

"_I told you, now go pack your things we have to go." She said nodding in the direction of the stairs._

"_But I told Edward-" I started to tell her that I promised Edward that I was coming right over, but she cut me off._

"_Isabella, I told to go and pack your things." _

"_But I told-" _

"_No buts Isabella, now go" I opened my mouth to protest, only to close it again when she continued to speak._

"_Listen, I don't care what you told Edward. I am telling you to go and get you stuff, because we are leaving." _

"_leaving?" I whispered._

*****

Even now as Riley was standing in front of me I felt nothing. Even though I had every right or need even to fear him, to cry, to run away and never look back.

I knew, and felt it, the exact second that I saw him. I knew that I couldn't show my aversion towards him. I knew that I had to remain calm. And the only calming effect that registered, was the fact that Edward was near. Because with Edward next to me, I could take on the entire world. I could look my darkest demons straight in the eye, without even a flinch.

So as I stood there looking up at Riley. I knew I had to compose myself, hide my true feelings.

I had to make myself numb again.

It didn't even register that Edward had left the kitchen at some point because when I looked around, he wasn't there. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Long time no see Isabella" I cringed hearing him call me that.

Even before I opened my eyes to see that he was now again standing right in front of me, I felt him there. I shuddered and opened my eyes, despite that my mind was yelling at me to just keep them shut.

"Please" I whispered, afraid of why he was here.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw that he was smiling.

"Please what Isabella?." He said.

"Just leave, please, and don't ever come back, please" I said softly, as I tried to keep my voice even.

He chuckled shaking his head. "You know I've waited a long time to finish what we started, the last time I saw you." He said closing the final gap between us, as he cupped my face firmly with his hands.

I closed my eyes and tried to shake my head as a silent plea for him to stop.

"Do you remember Isabella? When this was the only thing you wanted." His tone taunting me with horrible memories.

In that instant I knew I had two choices, I could either scream Bloody Murder, and hope that he wouldn't hurt me or Edward. Or I could compose myself and think back to the first few days after I had left. I could let the emptiness overtake me once more, make me numb again.

As I began to feel his nauseating warm breath fan across my face, I knew what I had to do.

I had to let the _nothing_ consume me again.

With that last thought, I felt his lips crash onto mine. I stood there motionless, not wanting to upset him, or make him think that I enjoyed this, him.

After what felt like an eternity, but most likely was only a few seconds I noticed Riley halting his movements. I wondered why he would stop, knowing it took a good reason for him to do just that.

I realized that there was indeed a good reason, it was _Edward_. As soon as I saw him, I jumped away from Riley, and stood as far away from him as the small space allowed.

I was struggling to keep my composure, when Edward started to speak. What he said in that moment, I don't really know. The only thing that I do know, is that I was absolutely relieved by his presence.

I _felt_ safe.

I heard Riley and Edward talking, but it sounded very distant, although they were standing in the same room as I. I vaguely heard Riley asking me if I wanted to walk him out, which I really didn't want to.

Fear rising up my body, as the bile rose inside my throat, I started to become numb again. At some point Riley must have walked out of the house, because I didn't feel his sickening presence surrounding me anymore.

I took a few breaths as I walked to the window, remembering how the forest trees used to calm me when Edward wasn't around to do it.

As I stood there for a while staring at the calming lush green scenery in front of me, I didn't even notice Edward standing behind me until I felt his warm hands on my shoulders, and his soft lips graze the edge of my ear ever so lightly.

"Bella tell me." He whispered. "Please tell me" I sighed softly closing my eyes, not realizing that he had been talking me until just now.

As I turned around slowly to apologize to him, I felt him place his warm hands on either side of my face, while mine snaked themselves around his waist.

He said my name as I opened my eyes, but was immediately startled by the look in his eyes.

Edward had an expression on his face that almost broke my heart all over again. He looked so incredibly worried and the sadness that was displayed in his beautiful vibrant green eyes, made me angry and sick at the same time.

He looked as broken as the day I told him that I was leaving.

Not able to handle that look in his eyes, knowing that it would be my undoing again. I took the cowards way out.

I took a shaky breath, and closed my eyes.

We stood there for a while, neither one of us seemed to want to end the silence. We stood there holding onto each other, afraid to let go.

I didn't know what to say to him, and I was afraid of what he would say to me. I didn't know how to explain what had happened with Riley, simply because I didn't understand it myself. The only thing that I did know, is that I once again felt incredibly safe, safe because Edward was here.

In that instant I knew that I would never feel safe again, unless Edward was there with me. I knew that I would never be happy again, if I were to loose him again.

I wanted Edward near me always, and just as I was about to tell him just that, he spoke.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…" My name rolling from his mouth as if it was a prayer. "What happened to you my dear sweet girl." He said at the same time that I felt his forehead against my own.

I sniffled softly, trying to choke back the sob that wanted to escape.

"Sweet, sweet Bella." His hands slid from my face down towards my shoulders, ending around my waist, as he pulled me close against his chest. I tightened my hold on him, as I felt his lips on my temple. Kissing me softly he continued. "What did they do to you my Angel?" His voice cracking with emotion.

As I did my best to fight back more tears from spilling, I felt silent tears drop on top of my head, causing me to gasp. Because the last time that I had witnessed Edward crying, was actually the last time that I saw him.

I loosened my hold on him and looked up at him, his eyes were closed shut. The tears clearly evident on his wet cheeks.

"Edward?" I whispered, but he kept them shut.

"Oh Edward, please, please don't cry" I said, my voice a little louder than before.

I raised my hands, cupping his face gently as he opened his eyes.

I lowered his head towards me, placing soft kisses over his eyes, both his cheeks, across his jaw, his chin and his nose. Trying to kiss the sadness away. As I pulled back, his hands were cradling my face, while he kissed me the same way as I had kissed him.

When he reached my nose, I felt our foreheads connect again.

"I love you so much" He mumbled, as his nose touched mine.

"So, so much." I whispered back.

He pulled away just enough to look into my eyes, darting between them as if he was searching them for something.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. As I exhaled I felt his lips on mine.

Careful, soft and tender at first, slowly morphing into something more, rougher, something carnal, almost _animalistic._ As I brought my hands up around the back of his neck, his ended up wrapped around my waist, tracing soft circles on the small of my back with his fingers.

Edward's lips tasted like Dr Pepper with a hint of peppermint.

As our lips moved in unison, it became apparent to be that I wanted more, I _needed _more. As if he was able to read my mind, his tongue darted out and traced my bottom lip, eliciting a small moan from me. I parted my lips slightly, pulled his upper lip between them and sucked lightly.

He groaned into my mouth, tracing his right hand down across my hip over my thigh, ending up behind my knee. He gently pulled my knee up, hitching it over his hip. I released his upper lip, tentively darting my tongue out in search for his. At the same time our tongues found each other, his left hand found my right knee.

As I wrapped my legs around his waist, his hands cupped my ass pulling me even closer to him. Our lips parted, his tracing my jaw across my neck to my ear.

Taking in his _scent _and the feel of his skin, I nuzzled into the crook of his neck as he placed soft kisses in the hollow beneath my ear.

I was completely lost in the moment, hell I was so lost in Edward, it was like the outside world didn't even exist. But I knew, somewhere in the back of my head I just knew that _this _wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Did I want this with Edward? Was this the right thing to do? Did we need this? Would either of us regret this, after the bubble burst?

I couldn't really answer any of those questions, maybe it was because I was afraid. Maybe it was because I was afraid of what this would mean to our friendship.

As soon as thought about our friendship I realized that we weren't really friends, even with the years that we had been just that. I couldn't bring myself to think of Edward in that way anymore.

Edward was so much more that just a friend to me.

He was my confidant.

My rock.

My sweet escape.

He was my shoulder, when I needed one.

He knew me, he knew me better than Charlie ever did, and definitely better than Renee thought she did. Hell he probably even knew me better than I knew myself.

But still I couldn't help but think that this was not how this was supposed to happen, not because of Riley, not because our thoughts were obscured by Renee's ghost hovering.

No, I would not let this be because of them.

This had to be about us.

"Edward, stop." I said as we held on to each other, "Please Edward" I whispered against the flesh in the crook of his neck, as I nuzzled in further.

He stopped grinding into me and with a low sigh laid his forehead on my shoulder.

"Not like this, please not like this" He shifted, turning us around. I faintly heard the fridge hum in the distance and before I knew it we were in the living room. I felt Edward's hands on my legs as he unwrapped them from around his waist.

"Ok my Bella" He whispered as he sat down on the couch, pulling me onto his lap.

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**Does Edward understand why Bella told him to stop? **

**What happended between Bella and Riley?**

**And why oh why did Renee decide to take Bella away?**

**Well... I for sure can't wiat to find out, so I'm off to find out! ... Oh Yeah, just so you know, Reviews are way better than Dr Pepper ;)**


	7. Party Flavours

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.**

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**Again there's not much I have to say about this chapter, exept that its all Edward ;-P**

**And I also want to Thank you guys for sticking with this story, you guys ROCK!**

**THANK YOU!!**

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**Again,**

**Enjoy!**

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**~*~Edward~*~**

_Not like this, please not like this._

That's what Bella had said to me almost ten days ago, when we were kissing. Ten days ago we were standing there in Charlie's small kitchen kissing like our life's depended on it. After that had happened, we did see each other, spending most days with Jasper and Alice. But not talking about that kiss, the kiss that undeniable changed everything. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out how the fuck that happened. I mean, sure I was there and fuck me if it didn't feel fucking fantastic.

So I just couldn't understand why she had said those words, I mean, didn't she want to kiss me? didn't she feel the same fucking electricity shit that I had felt? I just don't know, but I do know that I have never kissed or been kissed like that in my entire fucking existence. And for her to basically act like nothing had ever happened, it just blew my fucking mind - but not in a good fucking way.

And thinking about it for the past ten days, didn't do me any good either. Just the thought of her fucking beautiful soft delicious lips on mine, made me fucking hard. And _that_ just wouldn't do.

I mean, how the fuck did we go from best friends to not seeing each other for years, to being fucking ecstatic about being in each others lives again, to end up kissing like a pair of desperate fucking seventeen year olds.

I sighed running my fingers through my hair, when I heard my cell phone ring.

I was home, sitting on the couch. Completely lost in thought about that day with Bella before I opened my eyes and stood up from the couch to retrieve my phone. Without checking the ID, I flipped it open and answered.

"Hello"

"Yo Fucker, where you at?" I groaned, cursing my self for not checking who the fuck was calling me.

"What the fuck do you want?" I spat.

"Well dear brother of mine, like I asked you not even five seconds ago. Where. Are. You. At?" He almost sang the last few words as he repeated them, annoying me to hell.

"None of your business" I growled, pinching the bridge of my nose as my irritation grew.

"Damn man! Chill the fuck out" He said with clear amusement in his voice.

"Fuck you!" I growled.

"You wish bitch!" He retorted with a chuckle, before he continued. "Come on man, get your sorry ass over here." And with that he hung up.

"Stupid motherfucker" I growled as I flipped my phone shut.

With a loud groan I walked to my room, over to my closet to find some clothes.

Twenty minutes later I was dressed, grabbed my hoodie and was out the door. The drive to Jasper's house only took me ten minutes. I parked my car across the street, when my phone started to ring again.

As I stepped out of the car, I took my phone from my pocket and saw that Emmet was calling me again.

"Hold your fucking horses, and open the goddamned door asshole" I said before I hung up.

Just as I reached the door it flung open.

"Evenin' sir" I smirked as Jasper stepped aside, letting me in. "Everyone's downstairs, if you want beer you'll find it there. " He explained as we walked to the basement door. "But if you want something else.." He stopped, turned to me with his hand on the handle. "You know where to find it." I nodded my head before we started down the stairs.

As we made our way down, I could hear Bree shouting along with the music at the top of her lungs.

"Hey! I was Country, when Country wasn't COOL" I stood there, looked around the room and saw that Emmet was laying on his back on the floor in the middle of the room, gripping his sides from laughing so hard as she continued.

"YEAH, I was Country, from my hat down to, WHOA my BOOTS. I still act, and look the SAMMMEEE." As Bree kind of screeched the last part, Jasper and Bree's boyfriend Jared walked over to her and finished the song with her. "What you see ain't nothing' NEWWW." their arms outstretched above their heads, as they screamed the last part. "YEAH, I was COUNTRYYYY when COUNTRY WASN'T COOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL."

With that, the entire room, including me fell into hysterical laughter. Cause that shit was just funny as fuck. I wiped the tears from my cheeks, while gripping my stomach, not able to control myself even though I was the only sober motherfucker in the room.

After a few minutes, as the laughter died down. I looked around the room, and saw Alice jump into Jaspers lap as he sat down in the corner armchair. _huh.. When the fuck did that happen?_

"I need a drink" I muttered under my breath, as I walked over to the keg. I picked up plastic cup to fill it with beer but when I saw the bottle of vodka, my mind was made up. I picked up the bottle, filling my cup. And once it was filled, I gulped it down at once. I repeated that four times and was just about to poor myself another, when I heard someone call my name.

"Edward!" I turned my gaze, and saw Emmet making his way towards me with a very leggy blond at his side. "There you are, Edward, I'd like you to meet _my _Rosie, Rosalie Hale" He said, gesturing towards her, as he put his hand on my shoulder. "Rosie, this is my _baby brother _Edward Cullen."

I looked at Rosalie and noticed that she was pretty hot, besides those mile high legs and the blond hair. It was when our eyes met that I saw her true beauty. Her face was completely flawless, it had the perfect shape, full lips, high cheekbones and…

_wait a minute… _

My eyes instantly snapped up at Emmet, only to find him grinning at me like a goddamned fool. Yeah, the fucker knows exactly what the fuck he said.

I glanced back at Rosalie as she offered me her hand. "Nice to _finally _meet you Edward" She said with a wink.

But before I could take her hand in mine, I felt someone grab my arm roughly, dragging me towards the garage door.

And before my brain had time to register what the fuck just happened, I found myself being suddenly attacked by a pair of hungry lips. As two tiny hands grabbed the front on my hoodie.

At first I stood there, holding my breath frozen in place. I exhaled quickly and when I inhaled, the scent surrounding me almost fucking floored me.

_Strawberries and Lilac._

Once I found my bearings and realized who was attached to the hungry set of lips, I started to kiss back. I kissed her back, with the same amount of fucking hunger as she had. My hands gripped her waist and I pulled her close to me.

When I was satisfied with her proximity, my right hand traveled up her body, ending at the back of her neck. I tilted her head slightly to the right, and forced her lips open. I plunged my tongue inside her mouth, tasting her sweetness.

She moaned into my mouth, as our tongues danced an intricate dance.

Just like her smell, she tasted of strawberries and lilac. Well ok, not just strawberries and lilac, but also a small amount of alcohol and something else that I couldn't place…yet.

_Holy shit!_

I pulled my lips from hers reluctantly, because I had to fucking breath, which caused her to whimper at the loss. I grinned against her flesh, as I kissed her cheek, then her jaw, making my way towards her neck. She moaned softly as I ran my tongue from her jaw to the hallow just under her ear.

I felt her hands travel from my chest up towards my neck, where they settled at the back of my head.

I pulled back slightly to look at her and my fucking breath hitched inside my throat when I saw her eyes. Her eyes were the same fucking beautiful chocolate color as they had always been. But there was something in them that made my dick fucking hard as hell.

_Pure fucking lust._

I looked at her, almost fucking gaping like a goddamned fish on dry land, when she gave me the sexiest motherfucking grin that I had ever seen.

She was absolutely fucking breathtaking.

"Hi" She said shyly as we gazed at each other.

"Hi" I grinned back at her.

I let go of her hair, and wrapped both of my hands around her waist holding her close to me, as she placed her cheek against my chest. I kissed the top of her head, and inhaled her perfect scent, when the door swung open.

"Oh there you are, come on lets get this party _really _started" Bree was standing there with a drink in her hand, smiling widely.

"Yes, let's do shots!" Bella pulled away, yanking me with her.

We entered the "Party room" which was basically the Whitlock's basement, that Peter had converted into 'teenage heaven' as we used to call it.

All the walls a deep burgundy color, built in surround sound in direct contact with their huge old skool jukebox, which had all types of music in it. There were three large couches, a couple of chairs three small coffee tables in the middle.

There was also a bar, the kind that you would find in an English pub. But the best thing of all, the thing that made me fucking giddy like a douche, was the fact that there was a professional karaoke system with more than 10.000 songs.

"Edward, why don't you go upstairs and grab us two bottles of _Jose,_ some lemons and limes?" Jasper asked as he stood in front of me with a wicked grin plastered all over his fucking face.

Nodding my head I asked if I needed to bring down some shot glasses.

"No man, we've got plenty down here." I nodded once more.

"I'll be right back" I told Bella.

"Okay, but hurry"

"Alright" I told her and turned to go upstairs.

When I was upstairs I walked directly towards the kitchen, grabbed a large plastic bowl out of the pantry. I opened the fridge, instantly finding the lemons and limes, I tossed them into the bowl.

I then walked out of the kitchen, placing the bowl on the table, before walking into the dining room. Where Peter had his bar, filled with different types of alcohol.

"Are you just gonna grab _Jose_ or will _Jack _be joining us?" I turned around and saw Bella standing in the doorway as she leaned against it, with a smile on her face, wearing the most beautiful fucking dress I had ever seen her in.

"Well, that depends.." I said, rubbing the back of my neck because she looked fucking breathtaking, with that dress and those..

_Fuck me!_

"Bella a-are you wearing heels?" I asked incredulously, swallowing hard.

She nodded walking towards the table. "Yes indeed" She said as she sat on down on the edge of the table.

"Alice made me wear them. didn't allow me to wear my Doc's or my Chuck's for that matter."

I walked over to her until I stood in front of her.

"You still have your old Chuck's?" She laughed lightly, nodding her head as I took a step forward, so that I stood a little closer to her.

"But these are really.." My eyes fixed on her face, when she looked up at me through her lashes.

Her sheer beauty in that exact moment caused my fucking breath to hitch.

"Beautiful" I whispered, the shoes completely forgotten as I gazed into her eyes. closing the gap between us.

She reached up, putting her hands on my chest, smiling shyly as her cheeks turned slightly pink.

I smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her cheek, but instead of finding her cheek, my lips found hers.

The way her lips felt against mine, drove me fucking wild. Even though it wasn't my intention to kiss her in the first place, I couldn't help myself for wanting more.

Her lips were soft and warm against mine but I still wanted more, fuck that. I _needed _fucking more.

I fucking craved for more.

So when I felt her warm tongue trace my bottom lip, I lost all the reserve I had.

My right hand flew to the nape of her neck so that I was holding her close to me. And my left hand snaked its way around her waist. As soon as our tongues met, I tilted her head to deepen the kiss.

Our tongues swirled around each other in a heated kiss fighting for dominance. She sighed as I moaned into her mouth. She tasted so fucking delicious that I didn't want to stop. But again the stupid fucking need to breath won out.

I reluctantly broke the kiss, and wrapped both my arms around her waist, as she wrapped hers around my neck.

We stood there for a minute or two, panting and just hugging each other, when I heard a throat being cleared.

I looked up over Bella's head, and saw Alice standing in the doorway with the bowl in her hands smiling at us.

She looked around the dining room, probably looking for the bottles. I nodded my head towards the bar, silently telling her that she could find them there. She nodded and walked over to the bar to retrieve the bottles.

When she found them, she smiled at me once more, and then left Bella and me alone again.

We stood there for a while just hugging each other, and I must admit that in that moment I was so fucking happy that I was holding her in my arms again, that I could have jumped up and down singing the opening tune of fucking _Happy Days_.

"This is nice" Bella's breath was warm against my neck, as she whispered.

"Mmhmm" I agreed.

"I've missed this" she said, squeezing my neck a little tighter before she pulled away from me slightly so that she could look at me, before she continued. "I've missed you"

I smiled at her, causing Bella to smirk at me.

"What?' I asked grinning at her.

"It's just.." she sighed, shaking her head. I kept my mouth shut, waiting for her to continue.

"I mean, we used to be together all the time, and then.." closing her eyes she continued. " And I drove Alice insane, telling her our stories.."

Bella opened her eyes again, as she smiled widely. "And for so long I thought that I wouldn't see you anymore, that you didn't want to see me.. But I couldn't anymore… I just knew that I had to, and I knew that you would've wanted me to sooner.. But now, now all of that doesn't even matter anymore because I am here now, and you…" she trailed off as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

I slipped my arms from around her waist, and cupped her face. "And its like before you know, but also different… and it scares me, but at the same time it doesn't, because it is _you_." she closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

I didn't say a word, because I had no idea what the fuck to say.

I was completely fucking stunned. I mean, here I was thinking that Bella didn't want to come back and see _me_ all these years, when all this she thought that I was angry with her. Here she was telling me her fears, and that she wanted to be here because of me.

I'm not gonna stand here and fucking lie to myself or to Bella that I wasn't scared myself, because I was.

For the past ten days I was absolutely scared shitless that I might have fucked up in the most horrible way, by kissing her.

From the moment my lips touched hers, I knew that I had crossed a line, and when she told me to stop. Fuck, I couldn't even think about what that meant.

But here she was, my beautiful Bella, here she was telling me that it was okay, that she wanted to be here with me.

I didn't know what to say, so I did the only thing that I could think of.

I kissed her.

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**Review maybe?**


	8. No Way Jose

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**Okay, so I'm sorry this update took a while, but RL kind of got in the way.**

**And also I've been having a slight case of writers block, so that didn't help either. **

**But fortunately it didn't last too long.**

**And I have to admit that I've been reading my fare share of FanFics simply because some of the stories are so Fucking GOOD! That I just couldn't help myself. ;- )**

**So be prepared for some serious Rec's at the bottom..**

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**Back to the story..**

**This Chapter is all Bella… and gives you a tiny glimps into her thoughts..**

**As well as some other stuff.**

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**To my readers I want to say Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart!**

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**As always,**

**Enjoy!**

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**~*~ Bella ~*~**

"Yeah, and then Edward and Bella jumped in shouting "THE BUTLER DID IT" and.. and.. " Jasper gasped for air trough his laughter.

I was laughing so loud and hard, that my stomach was aching and the tears were streaming down my cheeks, at Jaspers inability to finish the story.

Edward who had been sitting next to me, was now laying on the floor, rolling from side to side, his arms wrapped around his waist, and tears flowing freely down his face.

Emmet and Rosalie were on the couch behind us, and also laughing their ass off. Emmet was hunched forward, gripping his knees. While Rosalie was on he side turned towards him, and laughing into his back.

And Bree was laughing into the crook of Jared's neck, sitting sideways on his lap, while Alice was on her hands and knees with her head turned into her chest, laughing, crying and gasping for air.

We were all tipsy, by this point. Considering the Party thus the drinking had started around three hours ago.

I sat there watching my friends, and couldn't help but feel happy as fuck that they were still my friends after all these years. That they still accepted me.

I looked at Edward and saw his godlike face, his gorgeous body and perfect hair. But most of all when I looked at him, I saw his beautiful soul.

I stood up from my sitting position on the floor, swaying a bit as I cleared my throat.

"I LOVE YOU" I shouted, silencing my friends as their heads snapped my way. The way they reacted caused me to giggle because although I didn't mean for it to come out as a shout, it for some reason did.

They stared at me wide eyed for several seconds before Emmet decided to break the silence.

He stood up and walked over to me enveloping me in his arms, he picked me up and started to spin us around as he bear-hugged me.

"I love you too duckling" he said softly yet loud enough so the others could hear him.

He squeezed me twice and lowered me to the ground again, releasing me from his bear-hug.

I looked up at him to see the sparkle of sheer amusement in his eyes, and his lips curled up at the ends, forming a perfect toothy grin.

"Thank you Emmy-Bear" I said, grinning back at him.

He responded with a wink, turned on his heel and walked back to his seat, which was next to Rose on the couch.

I looked at the rest of my friends and saw that they were all smiling.

"I going to pee now" I said walking towards the door.

* * *

_As I reached the door I turned around to ask if Alice wanted to come with me. But held my tongue at the sight in front of me._

_I gasped and my heart skipped a few beats because all of a sudden I wasn't in the basement anymore. My eyes searched frantically for my friends, but found none of them. _

_I closed my eyes, taking a few deep shaky breaths in an attempt to calm myself._

_Where are they? _

_Where am I?_

_Why am I shaking?_

"_Oh God" I whispered when my eyes fell upon Renee, who was standing directly in front of me. _

_Her eyes were the darkest shade of red, scaring the living crap out of me._

_She stood there completely motionless, and all I could see and feel was the sheer anger rolling off of her. _

_She closed her eyes, and after a minute or two, her lips started to move but I couldn't hear what she was saying._

"_Please" I begged. _

"_I d-don't understand" I said, but this only seemed to infuriate her even more as she grabbed my arms and started to shake me violently._

"_Please" I begged again._

"_P-please… no.. d-don't.. please"_

"_BELLA!" I heard my name being yelled, and I thought it was Renee._

_But when I looked at her she was gone._

* * *

"_B wake up" I heard in the distance, as my body shook even more._

"_Shit! Bella.. Bella come on you're scaring the shit out of me" the voice sounded frantic._

I heard some distant ruffling sounds behind me as I reopened my eyes.

I was laying on a couch.

_What? _

Confusion set in as I realized that I wasn't just laying on some random couch in some random room.

No, I was laying on a incredibly soft and very, _very _white comfortable couch.

And although I was surrounded by darkness, with just a hint of light from behind me I could still see that I was in a beautifully decorated room.

I let my eyes wander through the space and all I could think of was that I'd been here before, but right now I couldn't really remember when.

I sighed closing my eyes as I tried to shift on the couch.

_Shit! Bad move_

I winced as I felt a raging pain shoot from my wrist to my elbow.

"Fuck" I cursed under my breath, when I heard muffled voices from behind me.

"Go take her upstairs, and make sure she doesn't panic again" I heard Carlisle tell Jasper in a smooth calming voice.

"I will, thank you" Jasper replied.

_Carlisle?_

I opened my eyes to look around the room again, when my eyes landed on the fireplace mantle that held some picture frames.

There was a large picture in the middle of the mantle and on the picture I could see Carlisle standing behind Esme with his hands on her shoulders. She had her arms around Emmet while he stood in front of her, and Edward was sitting on top of Carlisle's shoulders.

I smiled to myself despite the radiating pain that was seriously killing me, because I knew that that picture was taken on the day that I met Edward so many years ago.

I closed my eyes at the memory of a young Edward, standing outside of _Lasting Treasures Photography _in Port Angeles, while I waited for Renee who was talking to a man a few feet away from me.

I remember gathering up the courage to say something to the boy standing next to me.

I remember us talking, and I remember being enchanted by the boy with the cute _mad _hair.

I opened my eyes, still smiling at the memory when I heard some ruffling noises behind me.

"Carlisle?" I whispered.

I wasn't really sure if it was him, when he walked into the room before standing in front of me.

"It seems my favorite patient is awake" he smiled as he lowered himself to sit on the edge of the coffee table.

"Well, I couldn't sleep knowing my favorite Dr was here gracing me with his presence." I said with a smile as he winked at me.

"Why Miss Swan, are you trying to earn yourself an extra plate of Jello?"

"Only if it's the green wobbly kind" I shuddered at the thought which caused Carlisle to laugh.

"Well Bella, I have to say its good to see you again" he said as he bend down towards me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

Not trusting my voice, I nodded in agreement.

"So, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked, and I couldn't help but notice that he was in full on Dr mode as he asked me that question.

"Well uh, my throat hurts a bit… and my head feels as if someone has been using it as a punching bag and my wrist hurts like its been doing its own sick version of twister… But other than that, I'm fine" I said giving him a thumbs up.

"Well alright then" he said as he stood up. "I'll go grab you some Tylenol for the pain. Then you should get some sleep, and we'll talk about what happened and why you're here in the morning, is that okay with you Bella?"

"Oh uh yeah, I think I can manage that" I said as Carlisle nodded before walking away.

I laid my head back down on the soft pillow and closed my eyes, trying to remember what had happened and why I was here and how the hell I got here in the first place, when I suddenly felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times as I tried to focus on who was crouched in front of me.

"Edward" I exhaled as I saw him smile down on me.

"Shh, its okay. I just came to give you some Tylenol." he held his right palm open and in his left hand he had a glass of water.

I smiled at him, trying to sit up again. But was stopped by Edward as he placed the glass on the table behind him and gently grabbed my shoulder with his left hand, affectively holding me in place.

"Here let me help you."

"Okay."

He smiled at me, sliding his right hand under me and around my waist. His left hand stayed on my shoulder as he leaned forward.

I put my arms on his strong shoulders to help him a bit.

I sighed closing my eyes, not because I was in pain. But because he was so close that I could smell his delicious scent.

It was a delicious combination of his _Jean Paul Guiltier _perfume, alcohol, smoke and mints.

It was simply _Edward._

"Are you okay?" he asked when I was sitting up and leaning into the couch.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine"

He nodded, turned around to pick up the tablets and the glass of water and sat down on the coffee table in front of me.

"Here, dad said you should take two of these" he said, dropping the pills into my hand and handing me the water.

"Thanks" I smiled at him

I placed the pills on my tongue and gulped down the water before I heard Edward chuckle.

"What?" I asked.

"No, its nothing" he answered smiling at me. "I guess you were thirsty is all"

"Uh yeah, I guess I was." I admitted and almost instantly felt the heat rise to my cheeks as Edward smiled at me.

We sat there for a few minutes just smiling at each other in silence, when Edward spoke again.

"So, do you think you can walk or should I carry you?" he asked holding my gaze.

"What? I mean, yeah I can, but why?" I wasn't sure why he was asking me this, but figured that he wanted to take back to Charlie's. "Never mind, let's go"

I slowly started to get up and managed to this rather quickly with Edward's help.

I straightened myself and realized that my legs were a bit wobbly, when I felt Edward's arms slide around my waist to prevent me from falling.

"Whoa, easy there.. I've got you"

I threw my arms around his neck for support - well that was the plan anyway - and scolded myself instantly because as I did this, I was attacked by Edward's amazing smell and proximity.

_Damn I never wanted to kiss anybody in my life as I much as I wanted to kiss Edward right now. _

Our eyes met and I unconsciously licked my lips.

My eyes darting from his intense, vibrant green eyed gaze to his luscious slightly parted deliciously pouting lips.

"Son, I'm just going to take Alec out for his last walk." I closed my eyes at the sound of Carlisle's voice and I swear I heard Edward groan as Carlisle continued.

"I'll be back in say twenty minutes, so don't set the alarm just yet"

"Alright dad, I wont" Edward replied as I opened my eyes.

Seconds later we heard the door open and close as Carlisle stepped outside.

"Come on lets go before Carlisle comes back and locks you out" I smiled and Edward looked at me strangely.

"I mean, if you're gonna take me back to Charlie's then we should get going"

"Bella, I'm not taking you to Charlie's" he said, shaking his head.

"But you said I need slee-" I started, but was interrupted by Edward.

"Bella, I'm not taking you to Charlie's because you are staying right here" Okay now it was my turn to look at Edward strangely.

"So then why did you make me stand up?" I asked slightly annoyed, because I didn't see the point in having stand up when I was going to sleep on the couch and a very comfortable couch at that.

Edward laughed, causing my body to shake along side his.

"Jesus Bella, you really think Esme would allow you to sleep on the couch?" he smirked, raising one eyebrow.

I smiled sheepishly, because yeah I did kind of foolishly I guess think that I would just sleep on the couch. I mean, it being a very comfortable couch and all.

Edward must have read my mind, because his smirk turned into a full on wide ass grin as he shook his head once more.

Before I realized what had happened, Edward held me in his arms bridal-style and we were at the bottom of the stairs.

"Edward, you don't have to carry me you know" my voice dripping with annoyance.

"I know" his grin growing impossibly wider.

I huffed as he carried me upstairs. I figured he'd take me to one of the guest bedrooms, but was hugely surprised when he stopped in front of his old room.

I looked up at him and he smiled innocently.

"What?" he chuckled knowingly as I glared at him, shaking my head.

He opened the door and I gasped.

I gasped, because his _old_ room was exactly the same as it was when I saw it last so many years ago.

He silently settled me down until my feet touched the ground.

My hand flew to my mouth as my jaw hit the floor. Leaving me gaping like a fish.

Hesitantly I stepped forward into the room and heard the door close with a soft click.

"Oh my God Edward" I whispered.

"I know" he said, and moments later I felt his hands on my hips as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

An involuntary shudder escaped me as his warm breath cascaded on my neck.

I stood there looking around his room, remembering all the times we had spend together studying on his floor when it was raining outside.

And how we would sit outside on his balcony when the sun was out, and how Esme would always bring us a plate of chocolate chip cookies that she made herself as well as a glass of milk for the both of us.

Even remembering how Emmet would come barging in because he thought we would be doing.

Well, lets just say when he thought that we were studying other things.

We must have been standing there for a long time, because I began to feel really tired as I leaned into Edward who was still standing behind me, only his hands weren't on my hips anymore.

They were wrapped around my waist in a protective manner.

Edward softly nudged me walking me towards his bed.

"Come on sweety, lets get you to bed."

"But I don't have anything to sleep in" I tried my best not to smile through my pout.

He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of his old track shorts and his old 'Cullen' shirt. And then walked back to where I was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Here you go" he chuckled and threw the clothes at me.

I picked up the clothes and stood up, walking towards his bathroom.

When I got there I quickly closed the door stripped out of my clothes and put his on.

I walked over to the vanity and saw a new toothbrush which was still in its packet. I took it, tore the packet and lathered it up with _mint green Colgate_ and brushed my teeth.

After that, I washed my face, peed washed my hands again, quickly braided my hair and walked back into the room.

Edward was sitting on the bed, looking down into his hands. My squinted my eyes a bit, trying to see what he was looking at.

_A picture frame?_

I walked over towards Edward and sat down beside him, as my eyes registered the images on the picture.

In his hands Edward was holding a picture of him and me. We were in this very same room, laying on his bed sleeping.

Edward on his left side and me on my right. My right hand tucked underneath my pillow, and his left underneath his.

My left hand clasped into his right hand.

I was sixteen, and it was the night before I had my first date with _Riley_. Edward was grumpy all day.

* * *

"_What's wrong Edward?" I asked him as I laid next to him._

"_Nothing" he said sounding sad._

_I sighed, knowing why Edward was behaving this way and to say that I didn't like it was a huge understatement. _

_So I tried to make him smile._

"_Come on Edward, show me that dorky smile of yours that I love so much" I smiled, poking his side._

"_No"_

"_Come on Eddie-boy" I poked him harder, and he tried to shift away from me but I followed._

"_No go away" he grumbled into his pillow._

_I racked my brain, trying to figure out how I could make him laugh._

_I grinned at my plan, knowing how ticklish Edward was, I sat back up and simply jumped on his back and began my attack._

_He flinched and started to squirm under me as I laughed out loud._

"_Bellaaa get the hell off" as he said that, I could hear the humor in his voice even though he was trying his hardest to hide it._

"_No way Jose" I laughed even harder._

"_Bella" he warned, and I knew I was pushing my luck but I just couldn't stop._

"_Jose" I tried to warn him, but my nearly hysterical laughter made that impossible._

"_BELLA!" he roared when I hit a the perfect spot._

_HA! I knew it!_

_So I did hit it again._

"_Bella if you don't stop right this second, you are going to regret it!" at that I laughed even louder._

"_I'm not afraid of you, 'Jose'" and then he stopped squirming._

_O oh.._

_Before I knew what was happening, I was on my back, him straddling me._

"_Oh, you really shouldn't have said that" his grin was absolutely Evil, and now it was me who began to squirm..._

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Edward's laugh broke me from the memory, and when I looked up at him, I could see in his eyes that he must have been thinking the same thing.

"That day was fun" he said as he stood up and walked over to his old desk, putting the picture frame on one of the shelves above said desk.

I yawned as he turned around.

"Come on Bell, lets catch some sleep" he walked to the other side of the bed, pulling up the comforter as I cocked my eyebrow at him.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, making him roll his eyes.

"The Fuck you think I'm doing?" he smirked at me.

"Never mind" I said as I pulled my side of the comforter up, shaking my head with a smile on my face.

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**Thanks for reading! Thoughts anybody?**

**Hit The New and Improved Review Balloon! **

**REC-Time!!**

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_**The Ex Factor and Ragweeds by AngelAtTwilight (Because.. well, Because you'll know once you start reading)**_

_**Emancipation Proclamation by kharizzmatik (Beacause she is a fucking GENIUS!!)**_

_**The Red Line by WinndSinger (Because its filled with Lemony goodness) **_

_**EVERY story written by AngstGodess003 (Because they are the SHIT!)**_

**So I guess these should keep you pretty fucking busy.. That is if you haven't already read them… **

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**Next chapter more Rec's…**


	9. Funny Shots

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**Disclaimer: I do Not own anything Twilight.**

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**Here we go again.**

**Time for a new chappie, and its in Edward's POV! **

**Yay!**

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**And I'm not even gonna try and bore you guys with a long ass AN.**

**Double Yay!**

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**So get to reading already! =)**

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**Again,**

**Enjoy!**

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**~*~ Edward ~*~**

I slowly opened my eyes when I felt Bella's warm breath on my _bare_? Chest.

_What the Fuck?_

I lifted my head slightly to look down, and saw that yes, my chest was indeed bare, but only because my shirt had somehow ridden up my torso.

I sighed, laying my head back on my pillow as I remembered the previous night.

From start to finish it had been a fucking rollercoaster ride.

I remember the way I was dragged inside the garage and being attacked by a set of fucking delicious full lips.

_Bella._

Yes, Bella and I had been kissing each other as if our fucking lives had depended on it or shit. And I in all honesty do have to admit that I was one crazy ass desperate hungry mother fucker for all things Bella.

I mean, just thinking about her lips on mine, made me hard and horny as Hell.

Hence my motherfucking problem at - I lifted my head again to look at the alarm clock on my right - three forty fucking two am.

Dropping my head back down, I closed my eyes.

Bella had looked so fucking beautiful last night, that I could have easily died and gone to fucking heaven just by looking at her.

She was fucking perfect, the way she wore that gorgeous dress, and those shoes _Oh God _those shoes.

I mean fuck I'm a guy, so I don't know one fucking thing about designers and shit, but I do know what I like.

And I fucking loved those shoes.

And then when we went back downstairs to the others, who had started drinking pretty heavily by the time Bella and I made it back.

"Come on Cullen" Emmet grinned at me as I held onto Bella's hand at the bottom of the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, knowing what the fucker wanted. But Fuck it if I wasn't going to join him.

I walked over to where he sat and dragged Bella along.

"Here Ed" Emmet said handing me a shot as he smiled at Bella.

"Bella, would you also like to do a shot or two with us?" she smiled nodding her head as she looked up at me.

"I want some too" Alice came bouncing over to us, causing Bella to roll her eyes this time.

She took the shot from Emmet's hand and turned around to face Alice who was standing on my other side.

"Don't look at me like that B" Alice said, as Bella narrowed her eyes.

They were silent for a few seconds as I stood there watching them. It was as if they were having a silent fucking conversation with their eyes, the way they were looking at each other.

After another second or two, Alice grinned and Bella shook her head as her luscious lips curled up at the ends.

"Alright Brandon, just don't even think about doing any kind of shit tonight. Because I will kick your ass, so help me God" she said, and I'm sure Bella meant to sound menacing, but the fact that she was smiling widely blew that one straight out the fucking window.

Alice's grin turned even wider and she gave Bella a firm nod.

Emmet handed everyone their shots and told us all to take a seat in the lounge area that formed a circle.

Emmet had already set the two bottles and the bowl filled with lemons and limes on the small round table there.

We all obliged and sat down.

I sat down with Bella on my right and Jasper on my right. Bree and Jared sat down next to Bella with Emmet and Rose next to them And Alice took her seat beside Jasper.

"Okay, we all know how this goes, but these three lovely ladies among us don't." Emmet said, pointing at Bella, Alice and Rose while he proceeded to explain how we usually take our shots.

"Well, we all take our shots in hand and then we make a toast one at a time. So when say Jasper over there" he pointed at Jasper. "makes his toast we all say 'here here" and we take our shot. And don't worry, because we all get our chance to make said toast."

We all nodded our heads, and Emmet asked Bree to make the first toast.

"Alrighty then, Bree darling? Will you do the honors?" he asked her and she nodded her head.

We all picked up our shots, and waited for Bree to start.

"May you never lie, steal, cheat or drink." she started and turned to face Jared as she continued. "But if you must lie, lie in each others arms. If you must steal, steal kisses. If you must cheat?, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us, your friends" she finished the last part looking at all of us.

"Here here" we all said and took our first shots. Emmet poured us another shot, and then it was Jared turn.

"Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting and drinking. If you cheat, may you cheat death. If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart. If you fight, may you fight for a brother. And if drink, may you drink with me." Bree giggled, and we all took our shots.

The shots were poured, and Emmet was next.

We all started to laugh, because Emmet could be funny as fuck and we've already had three shots.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with Pizza." with that we quickly took our shots before bursting out with laughter.

"Shit, that's funny" Bella gripped my knee as she slammed her empty glass on the table.

"Yeah, and the fucker knows it too" I told her, placing my hand over hers.

After more shots were poured, Emmet told Rose that it was her turn.

"Okay Rosie, you ready?" he asked her, handing her a shot.

"Of course" she said confidently and kissed him on the lips.

Bella giggled softly at my side, so I turned my head to her, questioning her with my eyes.

She leaned in to my side, and whispered in my ear.

"I've never seen Emmet kiss a girl before" she said, and I nodded thinking that indeed she had never seen that.

"Hey guys, can we take a small brake?" Alice asked as she stood up from her seat, looking around.

"Yeah, I guess we should take a brake. Cause I don't know how well the little one can handle her shots." Emmet laughed as Alice flipped him off

"Be right back man" Jasper told me, gesturing to Alice.

"Sure" I replied, knowing that he was going to show her where the bathroom was.

I looked around and saw that Emmet and Rose had taken a seat at the bar on the other side of the room, and were talking. Bree and Jared weren't even in the room anymore, so I figured they had taken the party elsewhere.

I turned my head to my right, where Bella was and saw that she was smiling at me.

"Hi" she said, as I turned my whole body towards her.

"Hi" I smiled back at her, as our eyes locked.

"Do you wanna come outside with me for a sec?" Bella asked, taking my hand in hers as she stood up. "I need some air"

"Sure" I said standing up as well.

We walked up the stairs, when Bella stopped as we reached the kitchen.

"I'll be right back, gotta pee real quick" she said while walking down the hall to the bathroom.

I stood there waiting for Bella, when I saw Jared strolling down the stairs with a fucking wide ass grin on his face. As spotted Emmet's jacket on the coat hanger next to me.

I padded his left pocket, knowing I'd find a packet of Marlboro in there. I quickly took one out as well as his _Ed Hardy _lighter that I had given him as a Christmas gift last December.

"Hey man" Jared said as he walked over to me.

"So, I guess you found a better _party _huh?" I cocked my brow at him, as his grin grew even wider.

"Yeah" he smirked, as he walked to the kitchen.

I stood there shaking my head in amusement, when I heard Bella.

"Okay, I'm done.. You ready?" I nodded, taking her hand in mine as I opened the door and we stepped outside.

We walked around the corner and I leaned against the side of the house, taking the cigarette out of my hoodie pocket and lighting it.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked me.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" I replied, smirking at her.

She walked over to me, and when she was in front of me, she grabbed the front of my hoodie and pulled me roughly to her, forcing me to meet her gaze.

"Edward, what are we doing?" she asked.

"Well, I'm smoking a cigarette and you're wrinkling my clothes" I replied jokingly causing Bella to roll her eyes.

"No, I mean, what are _we_ doing? Its just we were friends for so long, and then not.." she trailed of, releasing my hoodie from her grip as she took a step to the right.

She turned around and leaned against the wall beside me, and closed her eyes.

I had no fucking idea how to respond, or if she even expected me to respond anyway. So I kept my mouth shut and waited for her to continue.

"And when I came back and saw Jazz in the store, I was so shocked and so happy that he wasn't mad at me. And then when I saw you on the porch… my God Edward, it was more than I could have ever imagined, I mean, I was so terrified that you hated me… And I've missed you so much, and I've never stopped thinking about you, how I lost my best friend… And Alice, Alice kept me sane Edward. "

I turned to my side to face her, and saw that her eyes were closed.

"Bella, look at me" I said, and she opened them.

"Bella, I love you… but you have got to shut the fuck up about me hating you and shit. I mean, in what kind of fucked up universe could I ever hate you?" I asked her as I threw away the cigarette bud.

"I could never hate you Bella" I promised. "You've been my best friend forever, even when we weren't together, you were. Even when we had that huge fight at Felix's house, and you told everyone there that I still slept with a stuffed animal - which you gave me, by the way - I didn't hate you ." a single tear slid down Bella's cheek, and I turned my body so that I was standing in front of her.

I brushed the wetness away with my thumb, as I leaned down and kissed her lips softly, before pulling away slowly.

"And when you told me that you were leaving, I didn't hate you. Sure I was fucking angry when you were gone, and I lashed out at everyone around me, even Jasper… but my anger was never towards you." I leaned down again, cupping her other cheek as well, thus forcing Bella to look at me as our foreheads touched and I continued.

"I was angry at the world, fuck, I hated _her _for taking you away from me, even Charlie I hated, because he couldn't make you stay… but all of that didn't matter anymore, because you were standing there… when I saw you that day, standing in the doorway. I thought that I was dreaming.. That maybe I was having some kind of fucked up nightmare… but I wasn't, and I knew, I knew that you came back to me." I smiled at her, and kissed her again because, well, because I fucking finally could.

I slipped my right hand through her hair, and placed my left between her shoulder blades, as I held her tight against my body.

We stood there for what felt like hours, when I heard the back door open softly. I turned my head towards the sound, and saw Jasper standing there. He gave me a apologetic smile, gesturing towards the door, silently asking me if we were coming back inside.

I nodded and he went back inside.

I kissed Bella's head, as I pulled away from our hug.

"Are you ready to go back inside?" I smiled at her.

She nodded her head, returning my smile and I couldn't help myself, because she first of all, she looked so beautiful. And second, I was just so fucking happy, so I pulled her back into a hug and probably squeezed the shit out of her, but I didn't care, 'cause I fucking could.

When I pulled away for the second time, she all but shocked the hell out of me by grabbing the front of my hoodie and crashing her lips against mine forcefully.

It took me a few seconds before I started to kiss her back. And when I did, I felt Bella's sweet tongue slide across my bottom lip. The sensation shot straight through my body causing my jeans to tighten by my straining cock.

I grabbed the back of her head with my right hand, tilting her head to the left so that I could deepen the kiss.

I forced her mouth open with my tongue, before plunging it inside her mouth. As our tongues met and started to dance their intricate dance, Bella moaned into my mouth. And I in return lost all of the fucking control that I was trying to hold onto, as I pushed her back against the wall.

Needing to breath, I pulled my lips from hers, kissing along her jaw to her neck.

Panting, Bella moaned my name as she gently tugged on my hair.

"Edward.. I t-think we s-should.. Oohh" she breathed, as I gently sucked the tender skin at the hallow beneath her ear.

"You make me fucking crazy" I groaned into her neck, trying to calm myself the fuck down.

After a few deep breaths, I pulled away and noticed Bella smiling at me.

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head in amusement.

"Nothing" she said, I looked at her, my brow raised at her.

"Okay, okay… I just.. You know uh I mean, shit! Edward what are we doing? I mean, is this ok? The kissing and stuff.. I mean, we never did that, and now.. I mean, I really _really_ like it.. But is that ok? Are _you_ ok with it? Are _we_ ok?" she sighed, and I just stared at her.

I stood there staring at her, just thinking about what she was asking me? I mean, is all of it ok? I decided pretty quickly that I really didn't know.

"I really don't know Bella, but I think it is ok for us.. I think." I answered honestly.

"Really?" she asked, and I nodded my head in agreement.

"Yes, really." I assured her. "And, I really fucking like it too" I said teasingly, as a small grin formed on her lips.

"Come on Beautiful, lets go back inside" I grabbed her hand, and practically dragged her back inside the house.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs of the basement, Bella was all giggles and that kind of made me think that she was probably already a bit tipsy by that point.

We made our way back to our seats, as I sat down and pulled Bella down with me. After a few minutes, everyone made it back to their seats and we drank and laughed more and more,

At some point Jasper tried to tell a story about mine and Bella's practical jokes. And I laughed so fucking hard that I could've easily pissed my fucking pants or shit.

I was still laughing when all of a sudden, Bella stood up and shouted the words "I love you". that gesture alone caused everyone to shut the fuck up.

And of course Emmet being Emmet, he stood up stalked towards her and pulled her into one of his fucking bear hugs.

After that things really got fucking weird.

I shuddered as the horrible images of Bella screaming in agony filled my thoughts, that was without a single fucking doubt in my fucked up head the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

I groaned closing my eyes, in an attempt to block those images out, when I felt Bella shift next to me.

I lifted my head again as I glanced at the clock, and saw that it was almost six in the morning.

_Damn! I've been awake for more than two fucking hours._

I sighed, rubbing my eyes, as I heard a soft giggle next to me.

"The fuck you laughing at?" I asked , turning to my side to face her.

"Your hair" she replied pointedly.

"What about it?" she giggled again, causing me to roll my eyes as I lifted my torso and leaned on my elbow.

"Nothing, just made me remember why I used to call you "socket-boy", that's all" she said, smiling innocently at me.

"You really shouldn't have said that Bella" I told her, glaring playfully.

Bella blinked a few times before her smile turned into a grin, knowing that I wouldn't let that go unpunished. So to ease my own mind, I asked her if her head was still hurting her.

"Uh yeah, no, heads good." she said quietly, and I grinned at her.

"And your wrist?" I asked, picking up her wrist gently, not wanting to hurt her in the process.

"It doesn't hurt so much anymore, though it is still a little tender I guess." I nodded looking at her wrist, still holding it gently in my hand.

We were quite for a few minutes, when Bella broke the silence.

"Edward" she said my name quietly, and I shifted my eyes from her wrist to her face.

"I forgot to ask you earlier, but uh do you have a girlfriend. I mean, I probably should've asked you before, but I didn't."

"Nope" I said, shaking my head.

"Oh, okay"

"Do you?" I asked her, causing her to blink a few times. And I rolled my eyes at her again.

"A _boyfriend_ Bella, I meant to ask if you have a boyfriend" I clarified, knowingly.

Her lips curled up as she shook her head. "Nope" she said.

"Okay" _Good to know_ I thought to myself, smiling at her.

And as Bella returned my smile, I could help but think that it was indeed very, _very _good to know.

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**Thanks for reading, and Review if you like..**

**Okay, I've got two more REC'S for you:**

**_Loner_ by Nilla79 **

**and if you are registered at Twilighted dot net.. You should sink you teeth into this story:  
**

**_With Teeth_ by TalulaBlue**


	10. Alec made me wet!

**D****isclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.. **

**Hiya! **

**First of all.**

**I'm sorry for not updating sooner.**

**The reason being that my stupid computer crashed! And I had to start all fucking over on this chapter, because apparently.. I wasn't smart enough to make a copy on my memory stick.. **

**And, because I'm currently writing a new chapter for ****Hope Falls.**

**And I'm also writing a oneshot. (which I amazingly ****did**** put on my memory stick)**

**I'm not sure as to when I'll be posting either of those two, but I promise it'll be as soon as possible.**

**Anyhoo…**

**Back to the story**

**Alright Darlin's this next chapter is the second part of Edward & Bella's morning in Casa de Cullen, after they wake up from their second round of sleep. **

**Bella suffers some weird dreams… Edward acts like a fucking teenage boy… and we finally get some Carlisle & Esme action. ;)**

**And we also find out who Alec is =D**

**As always, **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**~*~ Bella ~*~**

_As I stepped closer to where she was standing against the wall, I could see the sheer hatred in her eyes, rolling off of her body like raindrops falling from the sky._

"_Don't look at me like that" She sneered focusing her eyes on me, in an attempt to distract me from the papers she was clutching between her fingers._

_At this point, I wasn't angry anymore, I was just desperate to find out what those papers would prove, if they held any answers to why this all had happened. It was the only reason that I could think of, that would explain her behaviour so many years ago as well as today._

"_They are addressed to me" I argued, knowing it wouldn't make any difference to her._

_Her glare intensified as she watched me taking another step toward her._

"_Isabella" she warned._

I woke up startled, clutching my chest as I looked around, trying to figure out where the Hell I was. Exhaling I relaxed back into the pillow, when I realized that I was still in Edward's old bedroom.

I groaned, throwing my hands over my face in frustration, when I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," I said turning to my side, facing the door so I could see who it was.

"Hey you're awake." Edward poked his head inside, smiling at me.

"Yeah," I groaned louder, "I am,"

I watched as he quietly walked into the room, carrying a tray in his hands, while grinning at me.

"I come bearing gifts." he said, kicking the door shut with his foot.

I found myself smiling at Edward, despite having had _that_ dream again.

I cant even remember how many times I've had that fucked up dream, all I know is that it always ended the same.

I mean, shit.. The fact that I _know _that Renee had been hiding things from me for years, doesn't mean that I actually wanted to know _what _she's been hiding. I mean, sure call me ignorant and in mother fucking denial, but I was terrified for what it could be.

As he reached the bed, he placed the tray on the nightstand and turned to face me.

"I thought we could eat our breakfast in here, and join the rest later. Is that ok?" he asked, and I smiled in gratitude.

"Alright, mind if I re-join you?"

"Don't be ridiculous Edward, its your bed after all… Hey is that coffee?" I asked eyeing the steaming set of mugs on the tray.

"Yeah, a little black haired birdie might have told me that I should bring you some." he chuckled.

I smiled imagining what Alice might have said to him.

"And, there's nothing ridiculous about me asking, I mean, I'm not gonna fucking presume shit" he grinned, shaking his head.

I snorted, holding up the comforter for him. "Come on Bad Boy, I could use some heat and caffeine" I joked.

He climbed in next too me, shoving a pillow against the headboard and leaned against it, holding up his arm to make room for me.

I scooted closer to him, leaning into his side.

"Alright Shorty, drink up. "he grinned, using his old nickname for me.

"Gimme"

"Damn Bella! I wouldn't have believed it, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes." he sounded shocked, as I continued to gulp down the sweet hot liquid.

"When the fuck did you replace your lungs with led pipes?" I ignored his question, finishing my coffee.

"So what's for breakfast?" I asked.

"Uh.. Well…there's French toast, some eggs and bacon and pancakes.. And I brought you some cream cheese" he wiggled his brows.

"Oeeehhh, you know me so well, Mr. Cullen" I licked my lips, turning my body to give him a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek.

I pulled away to thank him for remembering the cream cheese, but found myself sidetracked when I looked into his eyes.

"Edward-" I managed to say, when I suddenly felt his mouth crash onto mine.

His lips were the softest I have ever felt, and as soon as his lips parted, I found myself being the most selfish creature that had ever walked the earth.

I wanted more, more of the softness, and more of Edward.

Fueled by the desire and need that I felt for Edward, I plunged my tongue between his parted lips.

His tongue felt cold against mine, and tasted of minty colgate and everything Edward.

I didn't care when a embarrassingly loud moan escaped my lips, into his mouth. Because the next thing I knew, I was sitting on top of Edward, straddling him, as he pulled me flush against his chest.

Without my permission, my hands found their way into Edwards soft messy hair. And I began tugging it gently.

Edward showed me that he liked the hair thing, by letting his hands rest on my ass.

Our lips moved against each other, as our tongues started their battle for dominance.

Feeling the need to breath, I pulled away, panting in the crook of his neck.

I felt Edward place hungry open mouth kisses along my neck and shoulder. Even though I wanted nothing more than to stay here in this moment with Edward.

I knew that it wasn't possible, because one, we were in his parents home. And I couldn't wait to see Esme again, as well as talk with Carlisle for a little while. I just knew that if we didn't stop now, we wouldn't be stopping period.

"E-Edward, I think.. Oohh… I think we should.." I trailed of in a loud moan, as Edward quickly flipped us over and was now hovering over me.

He trailed his tongue across my collarbone, and I felt his hand dip under the hem of my shirt. I trailed my hands up his arms, weaving them into hair.

"We should what?" he breathed into my ear, before he took my earlobe into his mouth, and gently sucked on it.

I wasn't really able to answer him, given the sensation that I was experiencing from the earlobe sucking. I guess I never knew that I would actually like something like that.

"Oh God" I moaned, as I felt Edward grind his hips slowly into my heated core. In a flash his lips crashed back onto mine, and he kissed me hungrily.

"Edward" his name came out breathlessly against his open mouth, as he continued to grind his hips.

He kissed me hard again, eliciting another loud moan from me.

There we were, panting between kisses, grinding into each other. When there was a knock on the door.

Edward groaned, burying his face into the crook of my neck as his grinding motion stopped all together.

I sighed at the sudden interruption, one the one hand wanting desperately to continue what we had started. But on the other hand, feeling grateful that for said interruption, knowing that if we actually did take it further than this point. There would be no way back.

It would change our friendship forever.

If it would be for better or for worse, I didn't really know yet.

"Who is it?" Edward asked after taking a deep breath.

"Come on, fucker. Quit holding Jelly Belly hostage in that shit-shack." Emmet boomed, wiggling the doorknob.

My eyes shot up to Edward in horror, afraid that Emmet would barge in.

Edward smiled crookedly, shaking his head before whispering in my ear.

"Don't worry, I locked that shit." he said and I couldn't help but grin at him.

"Real fucking mature, you dickhead! Locking the door, think your funny huh? Asshole. Just hurry the fuck up and get downstairs, Esme and the pixie are fucking bouncing, waiting to see Bella." Emmet said, and after a few seconds we heard his heavy steps on the stairs.

Edward sighed rolling off of me, and I stood up quickly, ready for a shower.

"Okay, I'll leave you to it then. There's some clothes for you on the vanity, so when your done, come downstairs." I nodded, turning towards the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later I was ready to face Carlisle and Esme.

As I took the my final step on the stairs, I heard several voices from the kitchen. I knew I should just walk in there, and make my presence known, but I needed a little bit more time to calm myself. And I have to admit - as wrong as it was - I kind of liked listening in on them.

"Edward did you give her the coffee?" Alice asked.

"Yes"

"And she drank it, right?"

"Yes"

"Alice sweety, would you like to go with Jasper and take Alec out for his morning walk?" I heard Esme ask.

I sighed closing my eyes, as I heard Esme's soothing voice.

"Of course, I'd like that very much" Alice said, when I heard someone cough loudly.

_Was that Emmet? Or was it Carlisle? _I wondered.

I took a few steadying breaths before deciding to just suck it up and face the woman that had been more of a mother to me, than Renee had ever been.

"I'll be right back," I heard Edward say.

"Where are you going?" Esme asked.

"Just going to check if Bella's okay" I heard him say, as his voice grew louder with every word.

I took the five steps leading toward the kitchen, before Edward reached the hallway.

"That wont be necessary," I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking as I looked past Edward, to where Esme was standing. "I'm fine, see."

As I spoke I could hear a small gasped escape from Esme's lips, she stared at me wide eyed.

"Of course you are" I know I heard Edward mumble, but I couldn't find the strength or the willingness to respond too him, because I stood there frozen, staring at Esme. And she stared right back.

She quickly walked over to where I was standing, - practically pushing Edward out of the way - and threw her arms around me.

"Oh Bella, honey." she whispered.

"_Bella honey, what's wrong?" Esme asked walking over to where I was sitting on the edge of Edward's bed after I had a fight with Renee about Edward. _

_She didn't like the fact that Edward - who was a boy - was my best friend, and she didn't exactly like the idea of us spending so much time together. She said I was too young, and that it was just wrong, and that it had to end._

_I quickly wiped my cheeks, and took a deep breath. I looked at her, and she quickly closed the distance between us._

"_Bella, are you ok?" she asked, kneeling down in front of me, placing her hand on my left knee._

"_No" I whispered, my voice shaking as I spoke._

"_Do you want to talk about it sweety?" her soothing voice bringing fresh wave of tears to my eyes._

"_Oh Bella, honey." she lifted herself from the floor, and sat next to me. " It's ok, Bella. Everything is going to be ok." she assured me._

_I sat there crying while Esme held me, patiently waiting._

"_She doesn't want me to be friends with Edward," I croaked, after several minutes. "She says we can't be friends.. That it's wrong, because he's a boy."_

"_Do you want to be Edward's friend?" she asked softly._

"_Yes" I said, looking into her eyes._

"_Do you think that it's wrong to be friends with him?" she smiled gently "Even if he's a boy?"_

"_No" I answered, honestly. "I love Edward."_

"_And I'm sure he loves you as well." she lifted her hand, and gently brushed my wet cheeks._

"_But-"_

"_But, nothing." she interrupted before I could say anything else. "You see, Bella. I know my son. And I know you, my dear." she insisted. "And because of that, I know that there is nothing, no force strong enough to separate the two of you. You and Edward are a package deal, a force to be reckoned with, and anyone who thinks or claims other wise, is only fooling themselves." _

_Her reassuring words made me smile, and I knew she was right._

_If only there was a way that I could convince Renee._

"Shh sweety, everything is ok now." she smiled at me. "Let me take a good look at you honey" she said, releasing me from her embrace.

"Oh Bella, my precious girl." her voice a mere whisper as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

We hugged each other close, and stood there crying in our embrace for God knows how long, when Edward spoke.

"Mom? Bella?" I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Are you guys ok?" he asked anxiously.

"Oh goodness, yes we are." Esme released her hold on me. "Right Bella?" she looked at me pointedly, and that's when I knew that we were.

From the look that she gave me, I knew that she wasn't mad at me. I knew that I was forgiven and that she didn't blame me for leaving Edward, or her for that matter. And that made me smile.

"Yes" I said. "never been better"

After that, Esme hugged me one more time before apologizing for not asking me if I wanted something to drink or eat, causing Edward to laugh.

"Mom, she already ate." he chuckled.

"I know that young man," she glared at him. "Maybe she's still hungry."

"No I'm fine," I told her, averting her gaze from Edward to me. "Edward took good _care_ of me." I glanced at Edward and he grinned at me.

"Alright then" Esme said, watching us with a curious expression before she turned around and resumed what she was doing before I walked in.

Edward led me to the kitchen table, where he sat down next to me.

After that we basically picked up where we had left off so many years ago. At some point I wondered why Esme didn't asked me about the past few years. But that thought was gone as fast as it came up, because I knew Esme. And knowing her, she would never put me into a difficult situation if she didn't have to.

As I sat there watching Esme and Edward, I couldn't help but wonder where Carlisle was.

I glanced around the room, and saw that Edward was watching me curiously when my eyes landed on him.

"What?" his warm breath causing me to shiver as he whispered into ear.

"Carlisle.." I breathed, when I felt his tongue touch my earlobe.

"What about Carlisle?" he chuckled.

"Edward." I hissed.

"What?" he asked in amusement, as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Where is Carlisle?" I asked Esme, ignoring Edward.

"Oh, Carlisle is at the hospital, but he should be back shortly" she explained, glancing at her watch.

I nodded, as she walked over the fridge.

"Edward, dear. Would you mind terribly if I asked you to do something for me?" she glanced at Edward, smiling at him.

"No _mother, _I don't mind." Edward laughed, shaking his head.

"Could you run to the store for me, I need more milk, a couple of tomatoes and garlic." she finished smiling sweetly.

"Sure I'll go, come with me?" he asked, turning to me.

"Okay." I smiled at him.

"I'll be right back." he walked out of the kitchen to grab his keys.

As I started to get up from the chair a few minutes later, the back door opened and Jasper ran inside, followed by an angry looking soaking wet Alice.

"JASPER WHITLOCK!" she shouted as he ran to hide behind Esme. "I _will _kill you-"

But before she could finish her sentence, Esme interrupted her.

"Alec!" I cringed at the menacing sound of her voice.

I looked at her and saw her glaring at the door, I wondered who she was talking to, when she spoke again.

"Alec, stay." she said, and my eyes followed her gaze.

There on the threshold stood the most beautiful -and completely soaking wet- white fluffy dog I had ever seen in my entire life.

"Alice, I'm so sorry… I didn't know Alec would jump in," Jasper apologized to Alice, who was still glaring at him. "I swear on all that is holy, he has never ever done that before."

"What?" Esme's said.

"Jasper threw a stick in the water, and Alec jumped in to fetch it." Alice explained what had happened, dripping water on the kitchen floor. "And when Alec got out, he.." she pointed at Jasper. "started to run, without fuc- _freaking _warning me!"

"Young man, you do not treat a lady like that." Esme scolded Jasper, before turning to Alice.

"Alice, dear.. Why don't you go upstairs, take a shower and I'll make sure that you'll have some clean clothes on the bed for you." she smiled gently at Alice.

"Thank you Mrs Cullen." Alice smiled back at her.

"Esme darling, Carlisle's mother is to be referred as Mrs Cullen." Esme laughed, guiding Alice towards the stairs.

I turned to Jasper as Edward returned.

"What the Fuck happened Jay?" he asked Jasper, who was standing against the counter with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

"Alec soaked Alice man, and now she's mad at me." His voice was low and sad as he spoke.

"Fuck, man." Edward laughed, turning to me. "You ready?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I am." I chuckled at Jaspers expense.

We turned around and walked over to the front door. It was pretty warm outside, so we didn't need our jackets.

"Come on, get in." Edward said as he held the passenger door open for me.

I slipped inside, putting my seatbelt on. Edward walked around the front of the car, before taking his seat next to me, and putting his own seatbelt on.

He started the car, and glanced at me.

"Do you mind if we stop by my place for a sec, I need to grab some stuff for Carlisle."

"I don't mind." I told him, suddenly exited about the fact that I would be seeing Edward's home.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed that the car had stopped, until my door suddenly opened.

I looked up, and saw Edward grinning at me.

"Oh, right." I said startled. "I'm coming"

I stepped out of the car and looked up at a fairly new apartment complex. It wasn't a very big complex, as I noticed that there were only six floors, consisting of four apartments that held two on each side.

Edward placed his hands on my shoulders as he leaned forward.

"So what do you think?" I felt his lips against my temple.

"I like it." I answered truthfully.

"Wait till you get inside." he said as he took my hand in his, and led me to the door.

We walked up the three steps to the door and Edward opened it, waiting for me to enter. He swiftly took my hand again, and led me to the other side of the lobby towards the elevator.

He pressed the button and the elevator doors.

"What floor do you live on?" I asked as the doors opened.

"The top." he said, as he pressed the button.

The ride up didn't take us too long, so I didn't have time to ask more questions.

The doors opened again, and as I stepped outside, I saw that there were only three doors on this floor.

"We bought the two apartments on this side." he motioned to the right where there was one door. "And Esme did the remodeling, so that's why there's only one door."

"Oh." I said stupidly, as Edward waited for me by the door.

I walked over to him as he unlocked it and opened it, holding it open for me to walk through.

"Fucking Hell, Bella," he said rolling his eyes as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I looked up at him, and saw him smiling down at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing." I shook my head.

He leaned down and looked at me, his eyebrows lifted upwards, showing me rather than telling me that he didn't believe me.

"Really, it's nothing," I said biting my lip, feeling Edwards lips gently brush from my cheek to my ear.

"Are you sure?" he whispered softly.

"Yes." I managed to answer right before I felt his lips on mine.

Edwards lips on mine, felt ridiculously incredible. And his tongue, his tongue was absolutely talented. The things that his tongue could do…

Suddenly, before I had time to realize what was happening, we were inside the apartment and my back was against the door, my legs securely wrapped around Edwards waist. Our kiss started out fairly slow, but I had the feeling that it wouldn't take much to throw me over the edge.

I felt Edwards tongue trace my bottom lip, and being the selfish creature that I am, I parted my lips without a second of hesitation, granting him entrance. And basically shoved my tongue down his throat.

His tongue tasted absolutely delicious, the way it glided against mine, darting in and out of my mouth. I moaned at the double sensation of his kiss and because as we were kissing, Edward began to thrust his hips against my now _very _heated core. Giving us both the much needed friction.

"Ungh, Bella." he groaned, "Fuck, I want you"

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	11. Esme's songs

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.**

**I know I've made you guys wait a pretty long fucking time for this update, and I'm sorry for that. I'm going through some RL shit right now.**

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**~*~ Edward ~*~**

As I said those words to Bella, I realized that I meant them more than I had never meant anything more in my fucking life.

Because Bella was the one, if not the only girl that I had ever really liked. And not just as a fine piece of ass -though Bella's ass was possibly the finest one I had seen so far- but more than that, I liked Bella as a person. She had always been my friend, my confidant.

I loved that girl so fucking much, that I would've given my fucking life to save hers.

_And I still would._

This morning as I walked up the stairs to my old bedroom, I questioned if what I was doing, was the right thing to do. I mean, I've always been attracted to Bella, there's no question about that.

Even when we where just kids, I knew that there was something about her, that was different than other girls. I remember the exact day that I realized that I liked Bella more than just a friend.

We were on our way to Jaspers thirteenth birthday party which was held outside in his backyard, because it was a warm day. Jasper had invited a handful of people, that we always hung out with.

"_Come on, Edward. We're gonna be late!" Bella said grabbing my hand as we ran to the end of the street. "You know Jasper doesn't like it when we're late."_

_As we ran, I noticed that Bella was wearing a new dark bleu colored skirt and a tight white t-shirt. And her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail, probably from being in a hurry._

_She looked absolutely beautiful. _

"_Oh, Crap! Bella, I forgot Jay's Present!" I told her. "You go, and I'll run back."_

_We had stopped running and she tugged at my arm as I tried to turn around._

"_What are you doing Bella? Go. Run. I don't want Jasper to be mad at you for being late." _

"_Oh. Please, Edward. Jasper can just eat dirt, cause you and I stick together!" she informed me, with a big grin._

"Edward" Bella's breathless voice brought me back to reality. "Are you ok?"

I blinked a few times, and realized that I had stopped walking, and we , well I was standing there with Bella in my arms.

I leaned my head against the crook of her neck, trying to calm myself from simply fucking her right here against the fucking door of my bedroom.

"Nothing's wrong." I mumbled against her neck.

"Did you change your mind?" Bella asked me.

How the hell could she even think that?

My God.. didn't she know how much I wanted her?

"Did you?" I asked her, needing to know if this really was what she wanted.

But before she could answer me, my phone rang.

I looked at her apologetically, as I pulled out my phone.

I sighed when I saw who was calling me.

"Hi mom." I said, running my hand through my hair.

"Hello son, I forgot to tell Bella that she should invite Charlie over for dinner."

"Uh okay."

"Yes, and Edward?"

"Yes."

"Could you bring back some Cherries, I know Charlie loves them."

"Will do."

"Alright son, say hi to Bella for me. I'll see you soon, Love you baby."

"Sure, sure. Love you." I said, turning to Bella.

She was standing in front of the window, looking all kinds of gorgeous. And I wondered if what we were about to do before my mom called, was the right thing to do.

Because as much as I _wanted _Bella, and that was a fucking lot, I knew that a quick fuck wasn't what I wanted from her, with her. I mean yeah, I was horny as fuck and hard as a god damn rock, but still I knew that it was wrong. Bella wasn't like the other girls I had been with in the past.

She wasn't _that _type of girl.

I walked over to were she stood and slowly wrapped my arms around her waist and placed my chin on her shoulder.

"Hey." I murmured against the soft flesh behind her ear.

"Hey." she whispered back, sighing as she relaxed against me.

"I'm sorry." I said, placing a soft kiss on her neck.

"What for?" she asked.

"Fucking everything," I said, loosening my hold on her. "Can I get u something to drink?"

"Uh, sure." she muttered quietly.

I kissed her temple and walked to the fridge, grabbed to bottles of water and turned to Bella again.

"Water good?" I asked.

"Perfect." she smiled.

I grabbed two bottles out of the fridge, scanned the items that were in there and saw that I would have to buy some stuff for me and Em when I went to the store for Esme.

I walked over to her, and handed her a bottle. She smiled at me and thanked me.

"So, we should probably get going before Esme gets mad at me." I said looking at my watch.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Bella sighed softly.

I looked at her and saw her roll the bottle of water in her hands in a nervous way, so I put my hand on her shoulder and squeezed her gently as I lowered my head to hers and kissed her soft lips.

"I'm sorry Bella, but not for what happened before Esme called." I cupped her chin, lifting her face so she was looking at me. "I'm sorry for almost fucking you against my door, because that's exactly what would have happened if I didn't love you so fucking much." I told her honestly.

She looked at me and then she smiled. "Edward I love you too, you know that right?" she asked and I nodded. "But what if I wanted you to fuck me against your door? What would you do?"

I groaned looking at her, but that soon proved to be too much as I felt my dick harden at her words. "Bella, why the fuck would you say something like that?"

When she didn't answer me, I opened my eyes and saw her grin at me.

_Fucking Hell!_

I placed my hands on her hips, knowing she would be able to feel my fucking hard on as I pulled her flush against me.

I heard her breath hitch as I pushed my hips forward, and lowered my face to whisper in her ear.

"Do you feel what your words do to me Bella? Do you feel how fucking hard you make me just by breathing?" not able to resist, I slowly licked the shell of her ear before continuing. "The only thing stopping me from stripping you naked and fucking you against the fucking window for all to see, is the fact that Esme is waiting for her fucking Cherries to make a pie for Charlie." I told her as I thrust my hips against her.

Bella moaned in response, grabbing onto my shoulder as she hitched her right leg over my hip. I placed my hand under her knee to keep her from falling as she began to grind against me.

"Edward." she moaned breathlessly, as I gently sucked the sweet spot under her ear cutting her off.

"I would fuck you hard, and it would end quickly." I licked my lips, brushing my nose against hers. "But that's not what I want with you Bella. I want to take my time with you. I want to drive you fucking insane with want and need. I want to worship your body, feel you under my fingertips and taste you on my tongue as I watch you come undone." I kissed her chastely and released my hold on her leg, and slightly pulled away from her.

As I said those words, I knew I was driving her fucking crazy and in all honesty, I too felt the affect of my own words. But I knew that we didn't have the time for all of that, because Esme was waiting for the groceries. And yeah, fucking Chief Swan was coming over for dinner as well.

"I want all that and so much more with you Bella, but for now…" I kissed her again cause I fucking felt like it. "Why don't you call Charlie and invite him to join us for dinner."

Bella nodded, and pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Charlie's number as I went to my room to retrieve Carlisle's stuff.

When I returned to the living room, Bella had finished her phone call with Charlie and told me that he had accepted the dinner invitation and would be at the house around seven as we walked out the door and made our way to the car.

Fifteen minutes later we were standing in the middle of the produce isle, and I was watching Bella as she carefully examined the Cherries.

I suddenly wondered if she could still tie a Cherrie stem with her tongue and just like that I was fucking hard again.

She turned around and held up a packet of those fucking Cherries and smiled brightly.

"These look good." she said, as I walked over to her putting my hands around her waist, leaving the damn cart in the middle of the fucking isle.

"I'm sure they do." I told her, licking my lips. "But not as fucking delicious as you do."

And then being the fucker I am, I crashed my lips to hers and kissed her passionately.

Bella gasped at first, but soon began kissing me back.

We stood there kissing for a while, and when we pulled away from each other, we were both panting.

I grinned at her, kissing her forehead and walked back to the cart. When I turned to Bella, she was looking at me with a funny expression on her face.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"What?" she said incredulously, shaking her head. "You just…. And then you… and, and… Shit Edward." she walked over to where I was, placing the Cherries inside the cart.

"You can't just do _that _and then act like _that._" she said gesturing widely towards me.

I decided to have a little fun with Bella.

"Act like what?" I asked her furrowing my brows.

Bella took a deep breath and exhaled loudly eyeing me suspiciously.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, and I couldn't hold back the smirk anymore.

"You Asshole! You knew exactly what the Hell you were doing, didn't you?" with those words the smirk transformed into a wide ass mother fucking grin causing Bella to punch me in the chest.

I winched as I felt the sting from her punch.

"Damn Bella!" I smiled, rubbing my chest. "You didn't have to get all fucking abusive on me and shit." knowing I'd piss her off even more for laughing at her.

Like the little vixen she is, Bella crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.

"Fuck you Edward!" she said turning on her heel, starting to walk away from me.

Having a hard time in containing my laughter, I laughed out loud causing Bella to look over her shoulder with the angriest expression I had yet to see her make.

My laughter quickly died down as our eyes met. Her eyes were filled with anger, and mine were filled with straight forward lust. Because an angry Bella was a fucking sexy Bella, and right now, the only thing I wanted to do, was throw her over my shoulder and take her to a secluded area and have my way with her.

I growled at the thought, as I watched Bella's eyes widen in recognition as her lips curled upwards.

I took a predatory step forward and saw Bella hesitantly take a step backwards.

"Don't move." I growled.

Bella grinned in response, taking another step backwards.

Taking two giant steps forward, I closed the distance between us and hovered above her.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't even think about doing whatever it is you're thinking about." she smirked, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Because right now, we simply do not have the time." she tilted my head down, as she stood on the tips of her toes. "But I promise you.." she trailed off licking her lips. "There _will_ be time."

As our faces moved forward, both our tongues darted out, meeting each other a second before our lips met in a searing kiss.

We kissed each other passionately and pulled apart when we needed to breath.

Both of us panting as our foreheads met and we stared into each others lust filled eyes.

Bella brushed her mouth against mine as she whispered "_Soon"_.

We quickly finished our shopping, and after I paid for the groceries we walked to the car, placing the bags in the trunk.

I held the passenger door open for Bella and after she was seated I closed the door, walking around the front of the car to the drivers side. I opened it, sat down and drove off after putting my seatbelt on.

Twenty minutes later as we walked through the door of my parents house, we overheard the last part of their conversation.

"I know he's angry Carlisle, but you cannot expect me to-" she didn't finish her sentence as dad cut her off.

"Don't you think that I know that?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

_Bad move old man.._

"Carlisle Cullen! Do not use that tone with me mister. Especially considering I make the food you eat." I could only imagine her amused expression, as Bella and I both chuckled.

I winked at Bella and stepped inside the kitchen.

"You'd better listen to the lady, old man." I smirked at him, walking over to Esme and kissing her cheek.

Carlisle rolled his eyes while Esme nodded her head.

"Bella honey, did you call your father?" she asked as she looked inside the bags.

"Yes I did, and he said he'd be here around seven if that's okay?" Bella smiled, taking a seat next to Carlisle at the breakfast bar.

I took two bottles of water out of the fridge and held one up for Bella. She nodded and I smiled winking at her.

Just as I began to turn around, Carlisle cleared his throat giving me a 'what the fuck was that' look. I fucking shrugged my shoulders because what the fuck was I supposed to do? and closed the fridge as I walked over to the bar and sat down next to Bella and handed her the water.

"Thank you." she smiled.

I opened the cap of my bottle, and just as I was about to take a swig, I felt Carlisle tap my shoulder.

I turned my head and looked at him and he nodded his head toward mom. I grinned nodding my head slightly and he grinned back, fucking winking at me.

I chuckled, shaking my head at him.

"That's perfectly fine my dear." Esme smiled at Bella. "Gives me plenty of time to make him his favorite pie."

"What pie?" dad asked sounding hopeful.

"Fucking Cherries." I muttered under my breath and Bella chuckled softly as she looked at me.

Like a fucking ninja I stealthily put my hand in hers under the bar, and squeezed it slightly.

She looked at me and I fucking winked at her again. Bella grinned at me shaking her head.

"Cherrie pie dear husband of mine." mom sang, and dad chuckled.

As I watched my parents, I got an idea, stood up and walked to the living room.

When I got there I walked straight to the entertainment set, and pulled out Esme's favorite cd.

It was a collection of music, that my dad had given her for her birthday last year.

I cranked the volume up and as soon as I pressed play, I made my way back to the kitchen and walked over to Esme.

"My lady?" I took her hand and spun her around, placing my left hand at the small of her back and dipped her low.

She squealed and I laughed hearing Dad and Bella laugh along with me.

As I led her across the kitchen, mom smiled at me brightly and when I heard Bella laugh out loud, I wasn't at all surprised when I saw Bella and my dad dance as well.

As the song ended, mom threw her arms around me and kissed me on my cheek.

"Thank you my dear sweet boy." she said "I love you."

"I love you too mom." I told her and as I gave her another kiss on her cheek, I felt a hand on my shoulder as Elvis Presley's _Always on my mind _began to play.

"Mind if I dance with my lovely wife?" dad asked, and I shook my head as I placed moms hand in his.

I turned around, and saw Bella standing next to the bar watching my parents with a fucking sad expression on her beautiful face.

So I walked over to her.

"May I have this dance?" I asked smiling at her.

She tilted her head to left, and nodded giving me a small smile. "Yes you may." she said.

I carefully placed my hands around her waist as Bella hugged my neck, placing her cheek against my chest.

I sighed as I felt her body relax against mine, and dropped my head so that my mouth was against her ear and quietly sang along with the King.

_Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times, _

_And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine, _

_If I made you feel second best,_

_I'm sorry I was blind._

_You were always on my mind, _

_You _are_ always on my mind._

Bella slowly lifted her head, and I put my forehead against hers. Staring at the endless pool of chocolate brown.

We danced like that for the rest of the song, but by the time Rod Stewarts _Have I told you lately?_ started playing, we were standing in the middle of the kitchen motionless just looking at each other.

By the middle of the song, Bella closed her eyes and silent tears fell from her eyes.

Not giving a shit if my parents were still in the room, and able to see and hear everything I was about to say and do.

I took her precious face in my hands, and kissed her forehead and her closed eyelids. When they fluttered open I kissed the tip of her nose and pressed my lips on her cheeks.

I pulled away from her and smiled at her, knowing that this was what I wanted to do. And I hoped and prayed to Jesus Christ that she wouldn't run away or worse, knee me in the balls.

Because in this moment I didn't fucking care what had happened all those years ago, we'd figure everything out together. I wanted happiness for the both us.

I _craved _it.

"I love you Bella Swan." I told her, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before I opened them again and continued.

"I have loved you my whole damn life, and I refuse to live my life without you in it any fucking longer." she smiled and I kissed her lips softly.

"Edward wha-" she started but I cut her off, before I lost my fucking nerve.

"Don't speak Bella, just listen okay?" she nodded and I continued.

"And because of that, I want the world to know that you are mine." taking another deep breath, I took her hands in mine. "I don't want to ask you if you'll be my fucking girlfriend, cause you've been that since we were kids. I want, no scratch that. I _need _you to be with me always. My sweet oh so sweet Bella, I promise to love you forever."

I took a final breath.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you please do me the greatest fucking honor of changing your name." Bella gasped but I continued.

"Will you follow through on the promise we made when we were kids?" I asked her. "Marry me Bella."

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	12. Promises

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.**

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**I promised you a new chapter, so here it is… I should probably warn you that it isn't all that long, but it had to be done for the next chapter to work..**

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**~*~Bella~*~**

_The tall splotches of grass near the edge of the most beautiful place on earth were dancing in the wind as I sat dreaming off into space. Edward and I had just finished eating the sandwiches Esme had made us for the afternoon._

_We were at the small meadow in the woods behind Edwards house. And we had to promise Esme that we wouldn't stay out too late._

_So here we were, I was sitting on the blanket and Edward was laying on his back, with his arms folded behind his head. _

"_Why on earth would you say something like that Bella?" Edward snapped, leaning on his elbows._

_We were discussing the benefits of getting married. His thoughts were that getting married or being married, was the greatest most precious thing in the world. And me? Well, I just told him that marriage held a person back, from doing what they truly wanted to do, and that I would never consider marrying anyone if I could help it. _

_So Edward did what Edward always does when he thinks that I'm not making any sense. First he would get defensive and after that he'd get angry. _

_I was nine and Edward ten. I know, kind of weird to talk about stuff like that at our age,, but that's what we were doing anyway._

"_Be__cause, its true." I said__, knowing I'd piss him off with my answer,__ but I couldn't help myself cause an angry Edward was mostly a fun Edward to be around._

"_No, its not and you know it Bella. Marriage can bring people closer together and make them happier."_

"_Well yeah.. But it can also make people angry and hateful, for holding each other back."_

"_Yeah, but that only happens when people rush into it, not really knowing each other."_

"_Well, just look at the numbers Edward. There are more people getting a divorce then that there are people getting married, it was on the news last week, just so you know."_

"_Whatever Bella, those people are just stupid! Because I know that when I get married I will love my wife for the rest of forever." he smiled. "And my wife will love me just as much, if not more… okay that's a lie, we'll love each other just as much, cause we'll be best friends first."_

"_Yeah, cause people love each other that long right?" I scoffed. _

"_Yes." _

"_Be serious __Edward, no one loves someone 'for the rest of forever'." I quoted him sarcastically._

"_Well, I don't know about other people, but I do." he muttered quietly. But I still heard him._

"_And who is it that __you love so much Edward?" __I laughed. "Huh? Who is worthy of Edward__ Cullen's eternal love? And besides,__ I thought you said that girls were gross."_

_His brows furrowed, but he didn't really look angry, just a little annoyed as he sat up and crossed his legs, looking at me._

"_You're not gross, and I love you." he told me._

"_Are you saying that I'm not a girl?"_

"_No, I'm saying that I will love you forever Bella." then he grew quiet for a couple of minutes__. _

_And when I was just about to say something, he spoke again._

"_W__ill you love me too Bella? Forever I mean.."_

"_Yes." _

"_Okay, so lets make a pact then… shall we?" I nodded warily _

"_Okay, Good." Edward said, taking my hand in his before continuing. "But promise you wont laugh at me, or make fun of me… I mean it. Cause we have to take this seriously."_

"_Okay.." I rolled my eyes, and Edward smirked at me._

"_Okay," he said situating himself in front of me, on his knees as he took both of my hands in his. "I Edward Anthony Cullen promise that I will love you Isabella Marie Swan for the rest of forever starting right now." he said smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile at him in return._

"_Oh, crap! I forgot something." he said. "I think we should also promise that if we don't find someone we want to marry, that we should get married to each other, cause that's the logical thing to do. don't you think?" he asked, and I thought about it for a second and decided that he was probably right, or joking. Either way, I didn't mind__. _

"_Yeah, I guess so." I said, and Edward smiled widely._

"_Alright so, I also promise that I will be the greatest husband to my beautiful wife Bella." he grinned. "Your turn."_

_I took a deep breath. _

"_I Isabella Marie Swan promise that I will love you Edward Anthony Cullen for the rest of forever from this day on. And I also promise to change my name to Bella Cullen when I become your wife." _

"_Now we just have to seal the deal, and then were good." he said, looking at our joined hands. "But I.. well, I don't really have a ring or anything, so we could just hug or something, cause I kind of don't feel like kissing." _

"_Yeah me neither." I told him, and we both bust out laughing. _

_When our laughter died down, Edward pulled me into a hug, and when we released each other we heard Esme call for us that it was time to go back inside. _

I opened my eyes slowly, and startled as I heard a gasp from behind me.

But as much as I wanted to turn around and see who over heard Edward, I couldn't tear my eyes away from Edward.

I took a deep breath, ready to answer him as Emmet booming voice rang from the hallway.

"Hey Mom! Is it okay if I-" he started, but someone cut him off by shushing him.

Edward never took his eyes off of mine as he waited for my answer.

"I Bella Swan promise to love you for the rest of forever." my voice thick with emotion as Edward let out a deep rooted sigh. "And to change my name…" I trailed off as I saw a single lonely tear fall down Edward's left cheek.

"Is that a yes?" he asked quietly.

"Uh Yeah." as I said those words, Edward opened his eyes and my breath hitched at the emotion in them.

"Oh Bella." Edward said pulling me to him.

I threw my arms around his neck, nuzzling his chest.

We stood there holding onto each other for several minutes, when Edward pulled away slightly.

"I want you to know that I didn't ask you because of that stupid fucking promise I made you. I want you to know that I asked you because I really, really want you to be mine." I smiled at him, nodding my head. "Bella, I really do love you so fucking much, you have no idea."

"No.. I don't, but I do know how much I love you." I told him as he returned my smile.

"_Fuck,_ Bella." his right hand traveled from my waist to my cheek, where it snaked to the back of my head. "I am so fucking happy right now, shit I love you!"

He lowered his head to mine, and brushed his lips against both sides of my mouth before kissing me softly on the lips.

Just when I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip, someone cleared their throat behind me.

"Go away." Edward mumbled, causing me to smile against his lips.

"Honey?" it was Esme's voice.

Edward licked my lips once more before pulling away from me, and tucking me under his head.

"I'm kind of busy here _mother._" he smirked.

"Edward" I hissed at him, and he squeezed me a little tighter.

"I can see that _dear_," There was a level of amusement to Esme's voice as she continued to speak. "And don't you '_Mother' _me young man."

"Sorry." Edward muttered.

"Now let go of her, I want to hug my_ daughter._" Edward let go of me, spinning me around so I was facing Esme.

She took me in her arms as I hugged her back. My tears began to flow with the words she whispered in my ear.

"My dear sweet Bella, I told you years ago that no one could keep you two apart, even if they tried their hardest. And I didn't lie. Thank God I didn't lie." she pulled back slightly, brushing the tears from my cheeks before she continued.

"And I want you to know that I have always considered you my baby girl, ever since you came into this kitchen and asked me if I wanted to bake cookies with you."

She took my hands in hers and continued. "Every night I prayed for your safety and happiness, and I'm so very proud of you Bella. I am so incredibly proud of the woman you have become, and I wish you all the happiness and joy that life has in store for you."

"And I'm proud that you want to become a Cullen in name as well, because you've always been one in my eyes." she stopped talking and we both cried.

There were no words that I could've uttered in that moment, simply because Esme had said them all. The way she saw me as her baby girl, it made me wanted, loved.

And I had always considered Esme and Carlise for that matter as my second set of parents, and was glad that they never held a grudge.

I knew as a small girl, as well as now that I could always go to them if I needed a shoulder, or someone to talk to besides Edward.

"I love you." I told her truthfully and she nodded, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I love you too sweety, always have and always will." she hugged me and when I looked over her shoulder, I saw Edward, Carlisle and Emmet standing in the doorway all three grinning widely_._

I looked at Edward and raised my eyebrows, he simply shrugged as Emmet started laughing.

"Mom, let go of my little sister.. I need to hug the crap out of her." in an instant I was dangling in the air as Emmet's strong arms enveloped me in a bear hug. "Not fucking literally of course." he whispered in my ear, making me laugh out loud.

"Hey dipshit stop crushing my _girl._" I chuckled as I heard Edward, but laughed loudly when I heard a smacking sound followed by an unmistakable "Ow" from Edward as Carlisle spoke.

"Yes _Emmet,_ put Bella down." Emmet does, and turns me around.

Now that I'm facing Carlisle, I can't help but feel nervous. I mean even though he is possibly the friendliest man that I know, he has also always been like a second father to me.

So as I stand facing him, and I'm afraid of what his reaction will be. I'm afraid that he'll think that _this_, that what Edward and I are doing is wrong, and fast too fast. Because he is a logical man, being a doctor and all.

But then my eyes flicker to Edward and he is standing next to his father, and the look in his eyes tells me that he's happy, that he's proud but most of all that he really truly loves me.

And just like that, it doesn't matter what Carlisle thinks, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. But mostly it doesn't fucking matter what Renee will think. Because as I gaze into Edwards eyes I see in them that its okay, I see that he will never judge me.

Carlisle clears his throat and I startle because he is standing in front of me now, and I didn't even see him move. I look up at him, and I see.

I see the love of a father, even though he isn't mine.

"I know I'm supposed to congratulate you, but I wont." he said, "Because I think that Edward over there is the lucky one. And so are we, to finally have you back in our lives again."

And just like that I was once again a blubbering emo girl.

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**Reviews still make me happy!**

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Oh hey, I also have a rec for you guys..

**Under the Apple Tree by danieller123 **

**It has me completely hooked! And can be found on undertheappletreefic(.)blogspot(.)com it has 50 chapters up, and I love it!**

**so if you want to read something good, go there!**

**And again..**

**read **

**Emacipation Proclamation!**

**Just do it! Cause its THAT GOOD.**

**That ones also on Blogspot.**

**kharizzmatik-ep(.)blogspot(.)com**


	13. authors note

**Hi all you wonderful readers, first I want to thank you all for reading my stories.. And apologize for not posting any new chapters.. **

**Real life has been kicking my ass in everyway you can imagine for the past couple of months.. **

**Im currently in the middle of an ugly divorce, so to say that my mind hasn't been with our lovely friends in an understatement.. Also all the chapters I had already written were on my husbands laptop, and the fucker erased them all.. Including the new oneshot I had written.. **

**So yeah, I hope that you guys don't give up on me and my stories ****L I've started writing again and hope to have a new chapter up in a few days .**

**Tnx again if youre still reading this and I promise ill do my best and continue where I left off.. **


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